Republican "hopeful" Rick Santorum won the support of 150 "evangelical leaders" at a meeting in Texas this weekend. Though the name of the ranch in Houston might not have been an epithet carved in stone, after three ballots, the choice of Santo was. (Neighbors reported a dark smoke encircling the area upon the rendering of the final vote, but that turned out to be a small witch fire, not a papal-choosing rip-off.)
Santo, the self-described "jesus candidate", was not present at the festivities as he was working the crowds at public appearances in the current "primary target" of South Carolina, self-described as "secession central". Some 60% of the state's Republican voters call themselves "evangelicals" which loosely translates as: "I pinky swore with the savior that I would tell everyone in the world that unless they agree with me they are screwed--by a person of my choosing, of course." Lovely, eh?
Or, as it is written in Rick 3:16 -- For Santo so despised the gays, that he gave his only begotten name, that whosoever should google it, should not get him but have everlasting strife. And eeeeww!
And if I was in charge of Santo's campaign ads (or had a big, silly PAC), I would go the DirecTV route of getting his message across. Fade in: There's Rick firing up his Google machine. The narrator intones the words: "When you want information fast, you use Google." Now Rick sees his result. "When you use Google, sometimes you don't like what you see." Rick makes a pissy face. "When you don't like what you see, you get angry." Rick rips the sleeves off his sweater. "When you get angry, you rend your clothing." Rick holds up the drooping, ruined sleeves. "And when you rend your clothing, you end up wearing a sweater vest. Don't end up wearing a sweater vest..." You get the idea.
Or if that didn't win the sympathy (for the devil) vote, I'd strike fear in the hearts of the electorate with the Allstate model. Fade in: A city hall somewhere in Obama's America. Gay people are getting married, commandments are being removed, and teenagers are gaining access to contraception. You drive by the scene so enraged at the freedoms on display that you slam your Hummer into a church causing the steeple to tumble through the roof and into your lap. The "Mayhem Man" asks: "Will your moderate candidate be able to stop this? Santorum can. Switch to Santorum and protect yourself against moderates and Obama."
But our Ricky prefers the one-on-one approach, and is known to shake hands in the following fashion: One man then one woman, one man then... And he likes to kiss babies, especially if they're still in the womb. (He's a tummy man.) He likes to go from small town to small town, much like a dangerously-run carnival, selling the snake oil to the desperate. (And the sweater vests to the fashion-challenged.)
And now that he has 150 new friends to do his bidding (or is that the other way round), he may be able to shrug off the joint scourge of Newt Gingrich and the false idol Rick, Gov. Perry. Because together they are quite the threat to Santo's base: Perry hates the gays and Newt is pro-pro-pro marriage. He's just not so sure about that one-man to one-woman ratio.
The "mass" has spoken. The "high" road is paved. (And if the evangelicals are hot for the Catholic dude, you know they must REALLY want someone to take out the other two guys--Huntsman and Romney--both conspicuously Mormon.)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
And Now It All Goes South
Fresh off a win in the New Hampshire Primary--and after becoming the first non-incumbent Republican to ever win Iowa and New Hampshire--Mitt Romney takes his callous caravan (and his rivals) to the Palmetto State, South Carolina, with Florida coming ten days after.
Mitt aggravated a lot of people with his "I like being able to fire people" bit which, if he'd put it as "If you get bad service from a corporation, you should be free to shop around for a better one", might have been a plus for him and saved him a ration of sh-t on the eve of the contest. As it has been said, and I entirely agree, the problem wasn't as much what he said, but that it played right into an established profile: Rich, heartless, and only out for himself. To my mind he said something far worse in his victory speech last night. He accused President Obama of practicing a type of class war of "envy".
Whether you fall in line with Occupy Wall Street or not, you know full well that Americans aren't envious of the top 1%, we just want them to pay their fair share, stop getting bailed out while earning huge bonuses, and to quit screwing the rest of us with under-regulated and unfair business practices. Envy, Mr. Romney? Really? How dare you. (He just said "rhetoric of envy" again on Morning Joe!)
Ron Paul came in second and is taking his "fight for liberty" to the birthplace of session. I'm not sure how he'll play there, and if he continues to intend to skip Florida on January 31st, he'd better grab some delegates in SC.
Jon Huntsman came in third, and I was pulling for the guy to crack 20%--he came in at 17%. I don't think he'll turn many southern heads, but I like his chances in Florida if he makes it that far.
So who will rise in the Old South? Santorum and Gingrich certainly go in with the advantage to pick up any of Romney's renderings, and Rick Perry could come in as high as third. He's working the state pretty hard, and has a head start on the other candidates as far as personal appearances is concerned. He has that I'd-like-to-drink-a-beer-with-you quality that helped W rise to the top of the field in 2000. But I won't get into the weeds of the cautionary tale regarding another Texas governor.
My prediction for SC: 1. Romney, 2. Gingrich (unless the electorate discover that his $ comes from the Las Vegas casino guy, which I hope they do because he's a Scott Walker-type union buster), 3. a tie between Santorum and Perry
My prediction for FL: 1. Romney, 2. a tie between Paul and Huntsman, 4. a tie between Santorum and Gingrich
Then there's Michigan and Arizona. I think it's a shame that we start out with so many currently red states. Skews the process, but I'm not sure what if anything can be done about that. I wonder what it might look like to have a "general election-style" campaigning season with all the caucuses and primaries coming on the same day, or same week. Then again, I'd love it if we could rid ourselves of the Electoral College, too. And have an NCAA football playoff system, and...too bad we already had X-mas.
As it stands now, and with the exception of the Granite State, we let the Midwest and South pick our nominees, and the Texas School Board select our kids' curriculum. Are we sure the North won?
Mitt aggravated a lot of people with his "I like being able to fire people" bit which, if he'd put it as "If you get bad service from a corporation, you should be free to shop around for a better one", might have been a plus for him and saved him a ration of sh-t on the eve of the contest. As it has been said, and I entirely agree, the problem wasn't as much what he said, but that it played right into an established profile: Rich, heartless, and only out for himself. To my mind he said something far worse in his victory speech last night. He accused President Obama of practicing a type of class war of "envy".
Whether you fall in line with Occupy Wall Street or not, you know full well that Americans aren't envious of the top 1%, we just want them to pay their fair share, stop getting bailed out while earning huge bonuses, and to quit screwing the rest of us with under-regulated and unfair business practices. Envy, Mr. Romney? Really? How dare you. (He just said "rhetoric of envy" again on Morning Joe!)
Ron Paul came in second and is taking his "fight for liberty" to the birthplace of session. I'm not sure how he'll play there, and if he continues to intend to skip Florida on January 31st, he'd better grab some delegates in SC.
Jon Huntsman came in third, and I was pulling for the guy to crack 20%--he came in at 17%. I don't think he'll turn many southern heads, but I like his chances in Florida if he makes it that far.
So who will rise in the Old South? Santorum and Gingrich certainly go in with the advantage to pick up any of Romney's renderings, and Rick Perry could come in as high as third. He's working the state pretty hard, and has a head start on the other candidates as far as personal appearances is concerned. He has that I'd-like-to-drink-a-beer-with-you quality that helped W rise to the top of the field in 2000. But I won't get into the weeds of the cautionary tale regarding another Texas governor.
My prediction for SC: 1. Romney, 2. Gingrich (unless the electorate discover that his $ comes from the Las Vegas casino guy, which I hope they do because he's a Scott Walker-type union buster), 3. a tie between Santorum and Perry
My prediction for FL: 1. Romney, 2. a tie between Paul and Huntsman, 4. a tie between Santorum and Gingrich
Then there's Michigan and Arizona. I think it's a shame that we start out with so many currently red states. Skews the process, but I'm not sure what if anything can be done about that. I wonder what it might look like to have a "general election-style" campaigning season with all the caucuses and primaries coming on the same day, or same week. Then again, I'd love it if we could rid ourselves of the Electoral College, too. And have an NCAA football playoff system, and...too bad we already had X-mas.
As it stands now, and with the exception of the Granite State, we let the Midwest and South pick our nominees, and the Texas School Board select our kids' curriculum. Are we sure the North won?
Monday, January 9, 2012
20 Questions I'd Ask the Debaters
1. Which would be easier to sell to the wealthy: Paying more in taxes or re-instating the draft?
2. What do "social conservatives" conserve? Love, individual liberty, free pursuits of happiness?
3. What "entitlement" have you benefitted from that you would be willing to cut for others?
4. What issues should never be put to a vote of the people on a ballot?
5. How is collective bargaining different from congressional caucusing?
6. What has the Tea Party gotten wrong and how would you correct it?
7. Where would your administration spend and cut research dollars?
8. When should religion not be involved with government?
9. What's the worst thing a Republican has ever done and the best thing a Democrat has ever done?
10. Why shouldn't dishonest bankers, lenders, and stockbrokers go to jail?
11. Should we spend more on prisons or schools?
12. How will we know if you're taking on corporations and lobbyists?
13. How would you use the bully pulpit to advance the cause of wellness?
14. If corporations believe in the free market and democracy, why are they afraid to let their employees vote on whether on not to unionize?
15. If you could add three Amendments to the US Constitution what would they be?
16. When is it okay for humans to interfere with the "natural order"?
17. How much privatizing and deregulation does it take to turn a nation into a corporation?
18. When is it okay to censor legal materials?
19. If all Americans should be treated equally under the law, why can't the government guarantee them fair pay, decent health care, and a good education?
20. If you had to pick a Democrat as your VP running mate, who would you pick and why?
2. What do "social conservatives" conserve? Love, individual liberty, free pursuits of happiness?
3. What "entitlement" have you benefitted from that you would be willing to cut for others?
4. What issues should never be put to a vote of the people on a ballot?
5. How is collective bargaining different from congressional caucusing?
6. What has the Tea Party gotten wrong and how would you correct it?
7. Where would your administration spend and cut research dollars?
8. When should religion not be involved with government?
9. What's the worst thing a Republican has ever done and the best thing a Democrat has ever done?
10. Why shouldn't dishonest bankers, lenders, and stockbrokers go to jail?
11. Should we spend more on prisons or schools?
12. How will we know if you're taking on corporations and lobbyists?
13. How would you use the bully pulpit to advance the cause of wellness?
14. If corporations believe in the free market and democracy, why are they afraid to let their employees vote on whether on not to unionize?
15. If you could add three Amendments to the US Constitution what would they be?
16. When is it okay for humans to interfere with the "natural order"?
17. How much privatizing and deregulation does it take to turn a nation into a corporation?
18. When is it okay to censor legal materials?
19. If all Americans should be treated equally under the law, why can't the government guarantee them fair pay, decent health care, and a good education?
20. If you had to pick a Democrat as your VP running mate, who would you pick and why?
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