If you're like me, then I'm sorry. I don't like the guns. I really don't like seeing the children liking the guns because I have children out there and I've sorta gotten used to seeing them without holes shot through and through. I don't like little kids playing shooting games in arcades; I find it vile.
You don't have to agree, you don't ever have to care, but you really should feel something when you see the NRA in Arizona sitting kids on Santa's lap with guns. Come on. THAT'S A WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
So here, for your vomiting pleasure are the 12 days of X-mas as envisioned by the toters of guns:
"With the first gun show loophole, my true love waived for me...a cartridge in a magazine."
You get the idea. Let's skip ahead to 12 and sing our revolting way back.
"Twelve gunners gunning, eleven fighters fighting, ten boys a'bleedin, nine laid in caskets, eight 'fraid of squealing, seven childless women, six kids not playing, FIVE--COLD--DEAD--FINGERS, four cartel dudes, three lynch pins, two concealed guns, and a cartridge in a magazine."
It's #1 with a bullet. An international hit, the Mexican cartels ask for it by name. Go to the concert, there's no WAITING in line PERIOD. Every gun SHOW a SELLOUT!
And in Heston's Bar and Grill, try this killer menu:
*Shotgun SHELLS & CHEESE (goes great with asSAuLT rifles & PEPPER spray SHAKERS)
*You can choose from these drinks: GatorGRENADE or ARIZONA TEAparty
So go ahead and drink yourself into a GLOCK COMA! You can even PAY BY background CHECK: We know you're good people, 'cuz when it comes to Constitutional Amendments, you're all NUMBER 2!!!!
Now git them kiddies on Santa's Slay he'll be shootin' down your chimney any day. And make sure it's him that's in yer sights, you wouldn't wanna kill him on his biggest night! (Damn intruders!)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Analyze This?
Some things make no sense to me. Like a statement/opinion I just read: "Literary analysis kills literature."
I think I know, in spirit, what the writer intended but I have to ask myself: What about political analysis, the analysis of art and music, theater criticism, not to mention self-analysis.
I think too much. Lately I've been thinking and listening a lot. (This is my rationale for not tweeting and blogging as much as usual lately.) Sometimes you need to take a step back--especially if you are nearing a cliff. (I didn't say in which direction, did I?!)
Here's what I'm thinking: A lot of stuff gets said, covered, reported, digested, analyzed, and considered. Even more is left unheard and unknown by most of us. (It's mostly really really sad or extremely boring so not to worry.) And still we feel the need to handle it again atop all those other fingerprints. We choose to add our postmark to the package we, as a society, are carrying. We are each other's Mad Libs.
Amid all the clamor yesterday concerning Pizza Cain's extra cheese, Gov. Rick's number-fumble, and Newt's being a chameleon I noticed something very funny on the MSNBC homepage. Under the Travel section there were two headlines, one after the other. Permit the paraphrasing:
"Cell phone use on planes not allowed; no one knows why"
"Iphone spontaneously combusts on plane"
I'm thinking that the second headline pretty much answered the first one but then I'm a sucker for a good spontaneous combustion story. (You'll recall the whale incident...)
Surprisingly, however I did not combust over any of the political foolishness of the past week or so, though I would like to add my name to the list of people agitated at the fact that Huckabee and others feel that adultery is worse than sexual harassment/assault. Granted if the former was ever done to me it would result in the latter. (Hi, Honey!) But given recent collegiate headlines--and freaking common sense--such "philosophies" should find no purchase. Oh, and on a more obvious note--the dude wears a BLACK HAT! We should have seen this coming.
And speaking of Newt, thanks a lot, Lawrence O'D! I could've gone my entire life without knowing about The Speaker getting his microphone checked in the driveway--by another man's wife--while his own kids walked past the car. Geez! W. W. M. D? (What Would Monica Do--in case you were unclear about the nature of the "relations".) But I love you anyway, Larry, though I doubt I'll get that little head-bobber out of my mind any time soon.
Oh, Republicans...always good for a laugh. But these takeaways keep me sane:
1. Looks like the Payroll Tax Holiday will be extended, possibly with an even greater percentage savings for the Middle Class.
2. No matter how many people are repressed by over-zealous police forces, it seems that the Occupy Movement is determined to carry on. I hope so. We need a good revolution every 40 years or so, though in this case 15 would've suited me better. (I'm looking at you, Ronnie!) But I'll take it. Even when idiots ask, "Where is the leader?" Even when morons co-op peaceful protests for their own nephariousness.
3. It's the holiday season. 'Nuff said.
4. The Affordable Care Act is beginning to have major impacts on the formerly unemployed children in our nation, Dodd-Frank is getting better understood by Standard & Poors who now say that 'Too Big To Fail' is addressed in the legislation, and economic numbers are improving. All this makes me hope that the Dems are actually gonna fight this time. Well that, and the "Mitt-v-Mitt" advertisement. Tee-hee. (You know if they do a Newt ad it'll have to air in the same cable-only time slots as the OnlineBootyCall.Com ads.) "Newts Gone Wild!" Ewwww.....
But I will miss Barney Frank when he retires in about a year. He'll likely stay in the political arena, just not in the freak tent we call Congress. Not a Tea-drinker, no doubt. But you can ask Scott Walker how all those mesmerized 2010 voters now feel about the Teapot Dome. Ooops. Re-do, please!
So I have hope. Hope that as long as we have social media to further DEMOCRATIZE the conversation--more voices into the fray--knowledge will blossom into understanding which may explode into full-blown (apologies to Newt's special lady-friend) compromise. It could happen.
And that's coming from a cockeyed optimist whose state borders Arizona: Land of the Stinkeye, home of Santa's Slay. (I'm working up a whole bit on that god-awful BS. I'm thinking of leading with Toby Keith's "War on Christmas" then branching into a sure-to-piss-off rant about the evils of the NRA and its flimsy understanding of the Second Amendment. There's a war for ya!)
But let's end on a happy note...like G#!
I think I know, in spirit, what the writer intended but I have to ask myself: What about political analysis, the analysis of art and music, theater criticism, not to mention self-analysis.
I think too much. Lately I've been thinking and listening a lot. (This is my rationale for not tweeting and blogging as much as usual lately.) Sometimes you need to take a step back--especially if you are nearing a cliff. (I didn't say in which direction, did I?!)
Here's what I'm thinking: A lot of stuff gets said, covered, reported, digested, analyzed, and considered. Even more is left unheard and unknown by most of us. (It's mostly really really sad or extremely boring so not to worry.) And still we feel the need to handle it again atop all those other fingerprints. We choose to add our postmark to the package we, as a society, are carrying. We are each other's Mad Libs.
Amid all the clamor yesterday concerning Pizza Cain's extra cheese, Gov. Rick's number-fumble, and Newt's being a chameleon I noticed something very funny on the MSNBC homepage. Under the Travel section there were two headlines, one after the other. Permit the paraphrasing:
"Cell phone use on planes not allowed; no one knows why"
"Iphone spontaneously combusts on plane"
I'm thinking that the second headline pretty much answered the first one but then I'm a sucker for a good spontaneous combustion story. (You'll recall the whale incident...)
Surprisingly, however I did not combust over any of the political foolishness of the past week or so, though I would like to add my name to the list of people agitated at the fact that Huckabee and others feel that adultery is worse than sexual harassment/assault. Granted if the former was ever done to me it would result in the latter. (Hi, Honey!) But given recent collegiate headlines--and freaking common sense--such "philosophies" should find no purchase. Oh, and on a more obvious note--the dude wears a BLACK HAT! We should have seen this coming.
And speaking of Newt, thanks a lot, Lawrence O'D! I could've gone my entire life without knowing about The Speaker getting his microphone checked in the driveway--by another man's wife--while his own kids walked past the car. Geez! W. W. M. D? (What Would Monica Do--in case you were unclear about the nature of the "relations".) But I love you anyway, Larry, though I doubt I'll get that little head-bobber out of my mind any time soon.
Oh, Republicans...always good for a laugh. But these takeaways keep me sane:
1. Looks like the Payroll Tax Holiday will be extended, possibly with an even greater percentage savings for the Middle Class.
2. No matter how many people are repressed by over-zealous police forces, it seems that the Occupy Movement is determined to carry on. I hope so. We need a good revolution every 40 years or so, though in this case 15 would've suited me better. (I'm looking at you, Ronnie!) But I'll take it. Even when idiots ask, "Where is the leader?" Even when morons co-op peaceful protests for their own nephariousness.
3. It's the holiday season. 'Nuff said.
4. The Affordable Care Act is beginning to have major impacts on the formerly unemployed children in our nation, Dodd-Frank is getting better understood by Standard & Poors who now say that 'Too Big To Fail' is addressed in the legislation, and economic numbers are improving. All this makes me hope that the Dems are actually gonna fight this time. Well that, and the "Mitt-v-Mitt" advertisement. Tee-hee. (You know if they do a Newt ad it'll have to air in the same cable-only time slots as the OnlineBootyCall.Com ads.) "Newts Gone Wild!" Ewwww.....
But I will miss Barney Frank when he retires in about a year. He'll likely stay in the political arena, just not in the freak tent we call Congress. Not a Tea-drinker, no doubt. But you can ask Scott Walker how all those mesmerized 2010 voters now feel about the Teapot Dome. Ooops. Re-do, please!
So I have hope. Hope that as long as we have social media to further DEMOCRATIZE the conversation--more voices into the fray--knowledge will blossom into understanding which may explode into full-blown (apologies to Newt's special lady-friend) compromise. It could happen.
And that's coming from a cockeyed optimist whose state borders Arizona: Land of the Stinkeye, home of Santa's Slay. (I'm working up a whole bit on that god-awful BS. I'm thinking of leading with Toby Keith's "War on Christmas" then branching into a sure-to-piss-off rant about the evils of the NRA and its flimsy understanding of the Second Amendment. There's a war for ya!)
But let's end on a happy note...like G#!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
WEEK 13 PICKS
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! It was swell here at Rancho Bravo, nearly short-sleeve weather, and the festivities continue...
You'll forgive the late and truncated picks this week and, hopefully, enjoy some college football! Here are my 13 for 13:
*Alabama @ AUBURN (Go long shot, go!)
*Virginia Tech @ VIRGINIA (ditto)
*Oregon State @ OREGON (gotta luvva duck)
*Penn State @ WISCONSIN
*PURDUE @ Indiana
*MISSOURI @ Kansas
*AIR FORCE @ Colorado State
*Texas Tech @ BAYLOR
*FLORIDA STATE @ Florida
*Washington State @ WASHINGTON
*Clemson @ SOUTH CAROLINA
*Notre Dame @ STANFORD (You rule, The Cardinal!)
*University of California-Los Angeles @ USC
Oh yeah, and how 'bout those Buffs?! Believe it or not I actually did think Colorado would take that game against Utah and was pleasantly surprised to be correct. Next year...double the wins?? Year after that...bowl eligible?? Dreams do come true sometimes.
Enjoy the remainder of your holiday weekend. Back to the "snarky" political observations next week!
You'll forgive the late and truncated picks this week and, hopefully, enjoy some college football! Here are my 13 for 13:
*Alabama @ AUBURN (Go long shot, go!)
*Virginia Tech @ VIRGINIA (ditto)
*Oregon State @ OREGON (gotta luvva duck)
*Penn State @ WISCONSIN
*PURDUE @ Indiana
*MISSOURI @ Kansas
*AIR FORCE @ Colorado State
*Texas Tech @ BAYLOR
*FLORIDA STATE @ Florida
*Washington State @ WASHINGTON
*Clemson @ SOUTH CAROLINA
*Notre Dame @ STANFORD (You rule, The Cardinal!)
*University of California-Los Angeles @ USC
Oh yeah, and how 'bout those Buffs?! Believe it or not I actually did think Colorado would take that game against Utah and was pleasantly surprised to be correct. Next year...double the wins?? Year after that...bowl eligible?? Dreams do come true sometimes.
Enjoy the remainder of your holiday weekend. Back to the "snarky" political observations next week!
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