Well, there's no two ways about it: I stunk it up. I sat down and crapped out 45 guesses, wrapped 'em up in newspaper that had once held dead fish, left that on the computer to boil into Funk Stew, then had to move away...because of the smell and the shame.
Thank goodness the Nicholls State -v- Oregon State game was postponed, and Montee Ball didn't hold my misspelling of his first name against me, otherwise who knows; I might actually have lost more than I got right. I went 26 and 18 for the scratchy, awful, broken record.
You can understand why I missed a week, why I should only shoot for the Odd Weeks with my Oddly Awful Beginning. But the truth is I was busy making money for my favorite local charity: We feed struggling folks' pets so they can keep them home and out of the shelters. I definitely scored much better in Week Two.
But I did correctly pick Ohio's triumph over a decimated Penn State, and William and Mary nearly beat Maryland. I'll try to keep the small comforts in mind as I contemplate the complete failure of two of my favorite four teams: California and Colorado. What can I say? Cal did manage to win over Utah State last week, but things aren't looking good for Ted Jefford (yes, I know, but it's how I choose to mock the man). As for the Buffies of Boulder, well let's just leave it at, "Hey, at least we're not Savannah State. Yet." As for coaches, our dear football friends to the North have not seen fit to hire a real one since they drummed the unusually gorgeous Gary Barnett out of the Flatirons. I warned EVERYONE about Boise Dan, but no one would listen. Now we have Embree, a nice enough fella and a Homer, but it's clear to me he's not up to the challenge.
I want a former NFL guy who's been off the field just long enough to be cheap enough for the Regents to go for. I want a guy who can take an undisciplined group and work them into success. I want a serious dude with a smirk and an attitude. In two words, I want Jon Gruden. And if I can't have him, I'll go for June Jones, though I doubt he'd come up here and leave Down There. But football coaches are like Presidents: You have to give them four years before you can make a change. The White House in Washington D.C. is in fine shape with its occupant, the sidelines in Boulder need for that first term to just go swooshing by like a mad bison. I actually tossed the following idea to hubby: How's about we just have the team run around the field at the beginning of each half and let Ralphie graze for the rest of the game. The outcome couldn't be any worse!
But let's end on a happy note: I'm proud of the Ducks, The Cardinal, and the Bruins. I just wish Rick Neuheisel had started the right players...he might still have his dream job. And I hope that Savannah State gets a week off from being the whipping boy of CFB because that's gotta hurt. Almost as much as me not knowing whether or not the Buffs could beat them. Suit up, Ralphie!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Every Four Years in a Place Called America
I've stood before Mr. Lincoln in his granite chair several times, I've strode the flanks of Monticello, spreading out like loving arms to the Shenandoah Valley below. I've Looked into the never-ending torch that recalls President Kennedy, I've sat on the hillside lawn at Mount Vernon and watched the Potomac slowly pass by.
Because my parents were fans of history, and of their country, I've been to many more Presidential boyhood homes than I've missed and seen every state in the Union except a handful. Because a grandfather I never met went to every stump speech he could find in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, I've become a political wonk.
I watched this week's DNC as I have every National Convention that has occurred in my lifetime, and every State of the Union speech, every Inaugural, and a ton of important floor votes, pointing out my heroes over the years: Barbara Jordan, Hubert Humphrey, Pat Moynihan, Tip O'Neill, Paul Simon, Sam Ervin, Jerry Brown, Dennis Kucinich, and Bernie Sanders to name a very few. And there are this week's heroes: Bill Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, and of course, President Barack Obama, but again, just to name a few.
If after watching the 2012 version of politic's olympics you cannot tell which party is wearing the white hats, then I'm afraid you're not only misinformed, you are unteachable. If, after watching, you cannot discern the difference between the message of the RNC and the DNC, then I fear you may have lost your internal discerner-thingy. And if you can come away from what we just witnessed in Charlotte and not feel that 1970s pride in the red-white-and blue that I grew up under, then we don't just have a difference of opinion, we have a difference in DNA.
I have no problem with honest disagreements in policy, I just haven't seen any lately; I have all the problems in the world with not telling the truth to the American people. But the thing that bothers me most, that I just will never fathom, is how anyone could choose to be a member of a party that does not taut the glorious strength of the American worker, the promise of our SHARED future, and the sacrifice of our courageous troops. Not to be too critical, but I just didn't see any soul in what happened in Tampa.
You see to me, politics is personal. I have my favorite causes and my beloved people; I collect the memories of those great faces the way some kids collect baseball cards. I may be willing to use the bathroom in my house with the door open--you moms understand--but I will not watch a political convention in a crowd. I'd love to be a delegate sometime--I've never been to a convention of higher stature than that of my home county--but some things are between me and them. Some things are just too important to be "fun".
When I had my conversations with Mr. Lincoln, they were just between us two. When I walked Statuary Hall, I walked with the presidents alone. Never mind the Rotunda was filled with tourists, when I stood there looking up, I was in the Capitol Building alone. I was alone with my country and all that it means to me.
But that is where the aloneness stops. For when I get out to live my part of the body politic, when I go out to carry my piece of the American Dream, I walk in the steps of all who have trod this land, all who do, and all who ever will. I am on the Trail of Tears, I am on the Oregon Trail, I am on Route 66.
I'm glad that our President talked tonight about citizenship, for that is what being an American boils down to; we are one people, united together by a way of life, and by a way of viewing ourselves in the world. Just as Barack Obama wants to rebuild our economy from the middle out, I want to remind those among us who might have been talked into forgetting it that we used to sing "Look for the union label" together, we used to pray for a new President at his inaugural together, we used to ask every single person who could do so to vote together. We knew the value of citizenship and didn't look for a scapegoat group to blame for our problems. We were bigger "back then".
As President Kennedy often said, "Let me say this about that": Vote for whomever you honestly think would be best for our nation--but vote, cheer for whomever you trust with your dreams--but cheer, and help whomever around you needs it--but help. We are not separated by invisible lines of entitlement, we make our own destinies in this life. There are not winners and losers, there are those who can help and those who need help and those roles can be reversed overnight. And now with the rhetoric (including from me) about to heat up in these final 60 days of the 2012 election cycle, let us try never to forget that at the end of the day, the road, and at land's end of our nation, we are an us. We are THE US.
USA, USA, USA! Let the games begin...
Because my parents were fans of history, and of their country, I've been to many more Presidential boyhood homes than I've missed and seen every state in the Union except a handful. Because a grandfather I never met went to every stump speech he could find in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, I've become a political wonk.
I watched this week's DNC as I have every National Convention that has occurred in my lifetime, and every State of the Union speech, every Inaugural, and a ton of important floor votes, pointing out my heroes over the years: Barbara Jordan, Hubert Humphrey, Pat Moynihan, Tip O'Neill, Paul Simon, Sam Ervin, Jerry Brown, Dennis Kucinich, and Bernie Sanders to name a very few. And there are this week's heroes: Bill Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, and of course, President Barack Obama, but again, just to name a few.
If after watching the 2012 version of politic's olympics you cannot tell which party is wearing the white hats, then I'm afraid you're not only misinformed, you are unteachable. If, after watching, you cannot discern the difference between the message of the RNC and the DNC, then I fear you may have lost your internal discerner-thingy. And if you can come away from what we just witnessed in Charlotte and not feel that 1970s pride in the red-white-and blue that I grew up under, then we don't just have a difference of opinion, we have a difference in DNA.
I have no problem with honest disagreements in policy, I just haven't seen any lately; I have all the problems in the world with not telling the truth to the American people. But the thing that bothers me most, that I just will never fathom, is how anyone could choose to be a member of a party that does not taut the glorious strength of the American worker, the promise of our SHARED future, and the sacrifice of our courageous troops. Not to be too critical, but I just didn't see any soul in what happened in Tampa.
You see to me, politics is personal. I have my favorite causes and my beloved people; I collect the memories of those great faces the way some kids collect baseball cards. I may be willing to use the bathroom in my house with the door open--you moms understand--but I will not watch a political convention in a crowd. I'd love to be a delegate sometime--I've never been to a convention of higher stature than that of my home county--but some things are between me and them. Some things are just too important to be "fun".
When I had my conversations with Mr. Lincoln, they were just between us two. When I walked Statuary Hall, I walked with the presidents alone. Never mind the Rotunda was filled with tourists, when I stood there looking up, I was in the Capitol Building alone. I was alone with my country and all that it means to me.
But that is where the aloneness stops. For when I get out to live my part of the body politic, when I go out to carry my piece of the American Dream, I walk in the steps of all who have trod this land, all who do, and all who ever will. I am on the Trail of Tears, I am on the Oregon Trail, I am on Route 66.
I'm glad that our President talked tonight about citizenship, for that is what being an American boils down to; we are one people, united together by a way of life, and by a way of viewing ourselves in the world. Just as Barack Obama wants to rebuild our economy from the middle out, I want to remind those among us who might have been talked into forgetting it that we used to sing "Look for the union label" together, we used to pray for a new President at his inaugural together, we used to ask every single person who could do so to vote together. We knew the value of citizenship and didn't look for a scapegoat group to blame for our problems. We were bigger "back then".
As President Kennedy often said, "Let me say this about that": Vote for whomever you honestly think would be best for our nation--but vote, cheer for whomever you trust with your dreams--but cheer, and help whomever around you needs it--but help. We are not separated by invisible lines of entitlement, we make our own destinies in this life. There are not winners and losers, there are those who can help and those who need help and those roles can be reversed overnight. And now with the rhetoric (including from me) about to heat up in these final 60 days of the 2012 election cycle, let us try never to forget that at the end of the day, the road, and at land's end of our nation, we are an us. We are THE US.
USA, USA, USA! Let the games begin...
Saturday, September 1, 2012
BLOGNOSTICATION: WEEK ONE
Holy Moley, it's time for BLOGNOSTICATION 2012-13! And while Week One is the classic roll 'em up and smoke 'em weekend in the greatest tradition on Earth--known as College Football--we may run into a few close calls, bad calls, and of course the dreaded no calls.
Previously, on your TV program, both Vanderbilt and Washington State fell prey (only in part, you know) to the no call nemesis, and both lost, valiantly. Vandy looked good doing it, and the Cougars, well Mikey Leach, let's just say you've got some work to do up there in Pullman.
Here are the WEEK ONE picks, with your winners--Susy's Bruisers--in all CAPITALS as the football gods intended. (I've added a few categories just for fun, just to have everything out of order, AND just to contradict myself. AKA hedging one's bets.)
--disclaimer: some of the ATs are actually neutral locations, another WEEK ONE tradition--
I'M RIGHT, DANG IT
Notre Dame @ NAVY
Buffalo @ (6) GEORGIA
Marshall @ (11) WEST VIRGINIA
Miami of (Lyin' Ryan) Ohio @ (18) OHIO STATE
APPALACHIAN STATE @ East Carolina
Northwestern @ SYRACUSE
Western Michigan @ ILLINOIS
Elon @ NORTH CAROLINA
Idaho State @ AIR FORCE ACADEMY (the hometown fellas!)
Nevada @ CALIFORNIA (go, you hairy old Bears!)
Nicholls State @ OREGON STATE
Northern Iowa @ (12) WISCONSIN (say it thrice--Monte Ball--it's an imperative: oh, and he's cleared to play and doing well after an attack last month ended with a concussion)
Bowling Green @ (23) FLORIDA (actually thought of picking Letterman's alma mater<--THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR DOING THIS BEFORE DAWN! Letterman, of course, went to Ball State. As for Bowling Green, I give you Orel Hershiser. Take him, please)
TULSA @ Iowa State
MIAMI @ Boston College
IOWA @ Northern Illinois
Eastern Kentucky @ PURDUE
Colorado State @ COLORADO (oh Buffies, have a year--PLEASE)
Murray State @ FLORIDA STATE
Youngstown State @ PITT
North Texas @ (3) LSU
Jacksonville State @ (10) ARKANSAS
Clemson (14) @ AUBURN
Savannah State @ (19) OKLAHOMA STATE (hey, Sonneyjo!)
Chattanooga @ SOUTH FLORIDA
Southeast Louisiana @ MIZZOU
Central Arkansas @ OLE MISS
South Dakota State @ KANSAS
Northwestern State @ TEXAS TECH
Mizzou State @ (22) KANSAS STATE
Hawai'i @ (1) USC (really wish I had the macadamias to go with the Rainbow Warriors)
OKLAHOMA (4) @ University of Texas-El Paso
Arkansas State @ (5) OREGON (go, you fancy, wet Duckies!)
TOLEDO @ Arizona
...and on Sunday:
Kentucky @ (25) LOUISVILLE
SMU @ Baylor
I'M PROBABLY WRONG
Troy @ UAB
OHIO @ Penn State
MICHIGAN (8) @ (2) Alabama (this one's for Emily--our local OBAMA field organizer)
RICHMOND @ Virginia--this one get's its own paragraph.
Poor Spiders, they get no respect from ESPN. You know how you can click on the icon for each school listed in the match-ups and get info on the team, often with some featured video? Each school has a page with a background in the requisite team colors. Not Richmond. Richmond gets squat. Squat with a tiny notice in a tinier font that tells you there are "no articles" for this school. Yikes. I've heard of the arachnophobia, but this is hatin' on the eight-leggers. Then again, a letter makes a big difference: Richmond is in the CAA and Virginia in the arguably venerable ACC; ESPN reporter Michele Steele looks nothing like ex-RNC head Michael Steele. He does have pretty eyes and great skin, though. If only I could turn that bald head to the light. Ah well. What were we talking about?
...and there's a Monday game in this category:
GEORGIA TECH @ (16) Virginia Tech
I'M BATCRAP CRAZY WRONG
(or: Here's where I go out on a limb--think the other Michele with one "l" here. You know, the one with two "N"s as in Bachmann, for example.)
WILLIAM & MARY @ Maryland (I should've gone to school in Williamsburg...)
SOUTHERN MISS @ (17) Nebraska (good riddance, Red)
WYOMING @ (15) Texas (same goes for you, Burnt)
SAN DIEGO STATE @ Washington (as always, for dear Tony)
So there you have it, my Pigskin Pretties: 45 games for your dining and dancing pleasure. I calls 'em as I sees 'em and I tries to sees 'em all. Sorry if your favorite match-up isn't on my list but hey, you gotta draw the line somewhere. _________________________________________________________________
(See what I did there...)
Enjoy the games and have a great LABOR DAY weekend, then come back once all these games are played to see how I did. HUZZAH, FOOTBALL! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
Previously, on your TV program, both Vanderbilt and Washington State fell prey (only in part, you know) to the no call nemesis, and both lost, valiantly. Vandy looked good doing it, and the Cougars, well Mikey Leach, let's just say you've got some work to do up there in Pullman.
Here are the WEEK ONE picks, with your winners--Susy's Bruisers--in all CAPITALS as the football gods intended. (I've added a few categories just for fun, just to have everything out of order, AND just to contradict myself. AKA hedging one's bets.)
--disclaimer: some of the ATs are actually neutral locations, another WEEK ONE tradition--
I'M RIGHT, DANG IT
Notre Dame @ NAVY
Buffalo @ (6) GEORGIA
Marshall @ (11) WEST VIRGINIA
Miami of (Lyin' Ryan) Ohio @ (18) OHIO STATE
APPALACHIAN STATE @ East Carolina
Northwestern @ SYRACUSE
Western Michigan @ ILLINOIS
Elon @ NORTH CAROLINA
Idaho State @ AIR FORCE ACADEMY (the hometown fellas!)
Nevada @ CALIFORNIA (go, you hairy old Bears!)
Nicholls State @ OREGON STATE
Northern Iowa @ (12) WISCONSIN (say it thrice--Monte Ball--it's an imperative: oh, and he's cleared to play and doing well after an attack last month ended with a concussion)
Bowling Green @ (23) FLORIDA (actually thought of picking Letterman's alma mater<--THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR DOING THIS BEFORE DAWN! Letterman, of course, went to Ball State. As for Bowling Green, I give you Orel Hershiser. Take him, please)
TULSA @ Iowa State
MIAMI @ Boston College
IOWA @ Northern Illinois
Eastern Kentucky @ PURDUE
Colorado State @ COLORADO (oh Buffies, have a year--PLEASE)
Murray State @ FLORIDA STATE
Youngstown State @ PITT
North Texas @ (3) LSU
Jacksonville State @ (10) ARKANSAS
Clemson (14) @ AUBURN
Savannah State @ (19) OKLAHOMA STATE (hey, Sonneyjo!)
Chattanooga @ SOUTH FLORIDA
Southeast Louisiana @ MIZZOU
Central Arkansas @ OLE MISS
South Dakota State @ KANSAS
Northwestern State @ TEXAS TECH
Mizzou State @ (22) KANSAS STATE
Hawai'i @ (1) USC (really wish I had the macadamias to go with the Rainbow Warriors)
OKLAHOMA (4) @ University of Texas-El Paso
Arkansas State @ (5) OREGON (go, you fancy, wet Duckies!)
TOLEDO @ Arizona
...and on Sunday:
Kentucky @ (25) LOUISVILLE
SMU @ Baylor
I'M PROBABLY WRONG
Troy @ UAB
OHIO @ Penn State
MICHIGAN (8) @ (2) Alabama (this one's for Emily--our local OBAMA field organizer)
RICHMOND @ Virginia--this one get's its own paragraph.
Poor Spiders, they get no respect from ESPN. You know how you can click on the icon for each school listed in the match-ups and get info on the team, often with some featured video? Each school has a page with a background in the requisite team colors. Not Richmond. Richmond gets squat. Squat with a tiny notice in a tinier font that tells you there are "no articles" for this school. Yikes. I've heard of the arachnophobia, but this is hatin' on the eight-leggers. Then again, a letter makes a big difference: Richmond is in the CAA and Virginia in the arguably venerable ACC; ESPN reporter Michele Steele looks nothing like ex-RNC head Michael Steele. He does have pretty eyes and great skin, though. If only I could turn that bald head to the light. Ah well. What were we talking about?
...and there's a Monday game in this category:
GEORGIA TECH @ (16) Virginia Tech
I'M BATCRAP CRAZY WRONG
(or: Here's where I go out on a limb--think the other Michele with one "l" here. You know, the one with two "N"s as in Bachmann, for example.)
WILLIAM & MARY @ Maryland (I should've gone to school in Williamsburg...)
SOUTHERN MISS @ (17) Nebraska (good riddance, Red)
WYOMING @ (15) Texas (same goes for you, Burnt)
SAN DIEGO STATE @ Washington (as always, for dear Tony)
So there you have it, my Pigskin Pretties: 45 games for your dining and dancing pleasure. I calls 'em as I sees 'em and I tries to sees 'em all. Sorry if your favorite match-up isn't on my list but hey, you gotta draw the line somewhere. _________________________________________________________________
(See what I did there...)
Enjoy the games and have a great LABOR DAY weekend, then come back once all these games are played to see how I did. HUZZAH, FOOTBALL! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
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