The prophets, The Mamas and the Papas, say that you can't trust "that day". They tell us that when Monday finally rolls around "you can find me cryin' all of the time"' whereas the prophet Jimmy Buffett maintains that "Come Monday, it'll be alright." Perhaps we should look to one more prophesy, that of The Bangles, to settle the question: "It's just another Manic Monday...I wish it was Sunday...Cause that's my fun day...My I don't have to run day...". Seems the prophets vote for sucky.
Now I'm not sure what OLASJC was doing on that Monday of his final week on Earth because most traditions skip over Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday altogether when it comes to special Holy Week observances. But you know dude had to be up to something between healings and speeches. And speaking of speeches--and here's a real lark for you--do you know what "Maundy" means? It's from the word for mandate and is most often translated as "commandment". Yup! So does that mean POTUS' ACA contains not just a "new Commandment" but a personalized, Individual Commandment?! Sweet. No way the Republicans could argue against that though before they were against it back when it was their idea before they were informed that a black guy liked the idea too so they had to be against it they decided to be against it. (My head hurts.)
And speaking of "Republicans", we gotta take a page from the good 'ol BOCM (Book of Christian Mythology as my pal Karen used to say), the Bible, and go for the old eye-for-an-eye. You see it seems that even members of the SCOTUS--I'm looking at you, Scalia--cannot even bring themselves/himself to call the donkey party by their proper name: A.S. (sure, add another S. to his initials) referred to them as the Democrat Party. That said, those of us in the Democrat Party will now be forced to call our less-loving counterparts the Republic Party. (They'll be HUGE in China!) But that whole -IC-less version of the Dems is common parlance for the Reps. (A lot like Rebs, huh? BIG in the slave states too, eh?)
And speaking of race, I suppose there is another bit of lingo that I've never heard myself that has made the rounds in the square circles for some time. Some even seem to think that Rick Santorum nearly uttered the phrase over the weekend, campaigning in his Wisconsin waterloo. I choose not to type the entire phrase at this time, but I'll give you what you need to figure it out: Take the word "government" then add after it a country in Africa, we'll pick Niger, and double it's centrally-located consonant. Really, Rick? Is it that close to the surface for you? (I listened to the blurb several times and have to admit that I assumed it was BS on "our" parts to jump on something so obviously impossible, but I'll be damned if that's not EXACTLY what it sounds like he's saying.) How utterly sad.
But back to Monday and mandates. I just got a call a short time ago from my youngest child, the math genius (really) fashionista that her pants were "inappropriate". I had to take a pair of jeans--I made sure they had holes at the knees--to replace her thin cotton, plaid pants which were perceived--magically on this sixth occasion of her wearing them--to be pajamas. I was pissed and I let that be known in a peaceful and modest, although passive-aggressive, fashion. (You'll pardon the pun, goddamn you!!) She was upset--first day back after Spring Break is tough enough without foolish judgments--and I told her to try not to hold it against the school which normally does a bang-up job. I let her know that they had disappointed me and that she'd done nothing wrong. I helped her with a little ritual "throwing away of the bad energy" and gave her lots of hugs. I had time to decide, as I waited for her in the lobby of the school, whether to suck it up or to show my feelings, and I decided that whether I liked it later or not, I would show how I felt in that moment...and I did...and I'm glad. I was a Mama today.
I hope Jesus had that kind of Mama in Mary when people gave him shit about his clothes, his words, and the sluts and druggies with which he chose to hang--literally and metaphorically. He was born to an unwed mom with no Baby Daddy to show for her bump: Do you think he'd ever be able to step foot into one of his own churches today? Hells no, he wouldn't. And I have a story about that to prove it. My dear friend (she knows who she is and she may well be reading this so I'll share this hoping it's with her blessing) is a single mother and back when her kiddo was a baby, her mom--Grandma--wanted to pay for the weekly flowers at the front of the church to honor his birth. The preacher declined, saying that would be inappropriate given the circumstances of the precious child's lineage. My friend's mom, to her unending credit, said she supposed Jesus Christ himself wouldn't be an appropriate person to honor with church flowers...and oh, aren't they all supposed to be for Him anyway?
Inappropriate: Pants, babies, Jesus' pals. What about robbing the poor, baiting the races, and hating the "different"? I don't know the dude personally, but I'm thinking the Son 'O God would land firmly in the 99%. I can see him clearly washing feet in Zuccotti Park, the modern-day throwback to Gethsemane where that last mandate/commandment came down. It was a simple one, too. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Bleeding-heart-communist-longhaired-freak! King of kings, host of hosts, and Icon of Irony! Huzzah!
So my Maundy/mandate for you today is "Watch out, it's Monday!" And while it can't be Maundy Monday--'cuz it's really Maundy Thursday which is when Jesus had the garden picnic with his crew and gave 'em the LOVE ONE ANOTHER edict--it never hurts to be cautious...
unless you're taking up for your kids or showing others love.
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