Events, and malaise, are conspiring against me, successfully. I regret to inform you that my "May Milestone" will have to be rather lame. Here's what I've got: Set up my first irrigation system. Now while this is neither extreme nor terribly interesting, it is the thing I needed to do at the time. Here's what I almost had: Almost caught a ball at the ballgame Sunday, almost got to go to Open Poetry Mic Night at the library, and I almost got the June thing in last week so that it would be the May thing.
Trust me, I will be making up for the lame May thing later in the week. The June thing is a real winner! I'll let you know, if I survive.
So here's what we have in the "New Thing A Month" project so far:
March--started blogging
April--gave a speech to a large outdoor crowd in my hometown
May--yeah, yeah, irrigation (I did also set up my first "tree farm" if that counts for anything.)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
White HOUSE
In examining the GOP 2012 field in an entirely unscientific and arbitrary fashion, I have decided which of the candidates or possible candidates possess similarities to characters from the television show "House". Here are my urbane observations:
MICHELLE BACHMANN (R-MN)--This one was just too easy, and was the launching pad for this analysis. Bachmann, apart from being seemingly uninformed and inept at times, is rough around the edges. And she's nearly all edges. She's the one in the group who overcompensates out of some fear that she will be discovered to be less intelligent than the others and a little behind the fashion curve. It's obvious: She's Lisa Cuddy. All talk and not enough self-confidence. Possibly with good reason.
TIM PAWLENTY (R-MN)--Another easy Minnesotan to cast. An absolute gimme. He's soft-spoken and unassuming. He hides behind the ringleaders and inserts himself only when necessary, and then with a quiet grin. You know: He's Taub.
JOHN HUNTSMAN (R-UT)--This former gov and U.S. Ambassador to China has been making the waves in New Hampshire and impressing folks with his good looks and sense of style. He worked with the "Big Guy", but is now running against him. He has to be a frienemy out of necessity. He is smart, has a winning smile, and nice hair. He dresses well. He is the insider foil to the incumbent. He's a colleague who has switched loyalties. His role: He's Wilson.
MITT ROMNEY (R-UT/MA)--Another Utah Mormon, Romney also has the central casting presidential look. But he seems to change his mind, a lot. He was for choice before he was against it. Same with gun control, and his own health care concept (when taken nationally). He's cute, but he doesn't seem terribly bright. He has money and speaks in a comforting tone. But what does he say? Whatever he needs to say to get by. Smarmy and adroit at working the game: He's Chase.
PAUL RYAN (R-WI)--This one took some thought. Not much, but some. But he did manage to edge out Romney for this key role. How did the medicare crusader do it? Crazy eyes. The man has crazy eyes and that damned scary widow's peak in his hairline. He can do silly things and look like an absolute Gumby at times, and he can get angry and hurt. He's quietly volatile. No one appreciates him, nor do they listen to his advice when he thinks they should. The "Bossman" likes to seat him in the front row and mock him, openly. Who else would push an old lady over a cliff: He's Foreman.
NEWT GINGRICH (R-GA)--Okay, this one is controversial. But you know what? He's the only one in the field insane enough to pull it off. Let's think about it: He can say the craziest stuff imaginable, change his mind on a dime, take outrageous chances, and piss off nearly everyone he's ever worked with. The man has no filter. He thinks the world owes him. And he is a self-proclaimed genius. Forgive me Hugh Laurie, but: He's House.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA (D-IL)--Well we can't very well leave President out of the conversation, now can we? He's the President, after all. He's too bright to be either hopeful from the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes, too pragmatic to be our Badger pal. (Plus, I could never see him angry enough to be Foreman, nor that lacking in self-confidence.) He's not a Sidekick type of guy, which leaves out Wilson and Chase--our Beehivers. Let's look at what he IS. He's great-looking, smart, has a beautiful smile, understands the head games people play, and makes most everyone in his presence like him. And of course, he tries very hard to swing both ways by working both sides of the aisle in an attempt to get things done. That settles it: He's 13.
Now if Mitch Daniels, Mike Huckabee, Donald Trump, or Chris Christie change their minds, I'll have to delve deeper into the show's previous and/or recurring characters. And if Sarah Palin gets in, good night nurse! Keep posted in those instances: The casting couch is located in the Dr. Freud wing of PPTH.
MICHELLE BACHMANN (R-MN)--This one was just too easy, and was the launching pad for this analysis. Bachmann, apart from being seemingly uninformed and inept at times, is rough around the edges. And she's nearly all edges. She's the one in the group who overcompensates out of some fear that she will be discovered to be less intelligent than the others and a little behind the fashion curve. It's obvious: She's Lisa Cuddy. All talk and not enough self-confidence. Possibly with good reason.
TIM PAWLENTY (R-MN)--Another easy Minnesotan to cast. An absolute gimme. He's soft-spoken and unassuming. He hides behind the ringleaders and inserts himself only when necessary, and then with a quiet grin. You know: He's Taub.
JOHN HUNTSMAN (R-UT)--This former gov and U.S. Ambassador to China has been making the waves in New Hampshire and impressing folks with his good looks and sense of style. He worked with the "Big Guy", but is now running against him. He has to be a frienemy out of necessity. He is smart, has a winning smile, and nice hair. He dresses well. He is the insider foil to the incumbent. He's a colleague who has switched loyalties. His role: He's Wilson.
MITT ROMNEY (R-UT/MA)--Another Utah Mormon, Romney also has the central casting presidential look. But he seems to change his mind, a lot. He was for choice before he was against it. Same with gun control, and his own health care concept (when taken nationally). He's cute, but he doesn't seem terribly bright. He has money and speaks in a comforting tone. But what does he say? Whatever he needs to say to get by. Smarmy and adroit at working the game: He's Chase.
PAUL RYAN (R-WI)--This one took some thought. Not much, but some. But he did manage to edge out Romney for this key role. How did the medicare crusader do it? Crazy eyes. The man has crazy eyes and that damned scary widow's peak in his hairline. He can do silly things and look like an absolute Gumby at times, and he can get angry and hurt. He's quietly volatile. No one appreciates him, nor do they listen to his advice when he thinks they should. The "Bossman" likes to seat him in the front row and mock him, openly. Who else would push an old lady over a cliff: He's Foreman.
NEWT GINGRICH (R-GA)--Okay, this one is controversial. But you know what? He's the only one in the field insane enough to pull it off. Let's think about it: He can say the craziest stuff imaginable, change his mind on a dime, take outrageous chances, and piss off nearly everyone he's ever worked with. The man has no filter. He thinks the world owes him. And he is a self-proclaimed genius. Forgive me Hugh Laurie, but: He's House.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA (D-IL)--Well we can't very well leave President out of the conversation, now can we? He's the President, after all. He's too bright to be either hopeful from the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes, too pragmatic to be our Badger pal. (Plus, I could never see him angry enough to be Foreman, nor that lacking in self-confidence.) He's not a Sidekick type of guy, which leaves out Wilson and Chase--our Beehivers. Let's look at what he IS. He's great-looking, smart, has a beautiful smile, understands the head games people play, and makes most everyone in his presence like him. And of course, he tries very hard to swing both ways by working both sides of the aisle in an attempt to get things done. That settles it: He's 13.
Now if Mitch Daniels, Mike Huckabee, Donald Trump, or Chris Christie change their minds, I'll have to delve deeper into the show's previous and/or recurring characters. And if Sarah Palin gets in, good night nurse! Keep posted in those instances: The casting couch is located in the Dr. Freud wing of PPTH.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Take me out to the ball-game...
Took the kiddos to the local Minor League ballpark today and had a whale of a good time. Great weather, except for the wind, and for some reason the guys decided to unload everything they had on the ball (and the other team's pitching staff). HUGE #s: 41 hits, 30 runs total in the game! It was a very exciting afternoon.
Now, truth be told, I'm a big college football fan--I watch every Tuesday night game, every Thursday night game, and watch all the games I can switch between every Saturday. It's my Fall passion. But I do appreciate the history and the tradition of baseball, especially when I'm physically at a ballpark. We sang the National Anthem as the game began and "Take Me Out..." during the seventh inning stretch. We shouted encouragement to our guys, and politely clapped for theirs. We waved at the mascot, stood for the last out, and gave our guys a standing O until they finished their fist-bumps and hand shakes and returned to the dugout.
When I was a kid, I got to watch Dusty Baker as a minor-leaguer. Maybe my kids will have a memory like that if one of our guys gets called up and makes the best of "The Show" for himself. That would be cool. (That's my youngest one's glove in this week's picture. She got to sing the anthem at an earlier game.)
Play ball!!
Now, truth be told, I'm a big college football fan--I watch every Tuesday night game, every Thursday night game, and watch all the games I can switch between every Saturday. It's my Fall passion. But I do appreciate the history and the tradition of baseball, especially when I'm physically at a ballpark. We sang the National Anthem as the game began and "Take Me Out..." during the seventh inning stretch. We shouted encouragement to our guys, and politely clapped for theirs. We waved at the mascot, stood for the last out, and gave our guys a standing O until they finished their fist-bumps and hand shakes and returned to the dugout.
When I was a kid, I got to watch Dusty Baker as a minor-leaguer. Maybe my kids will have a memory like that if one of our guys gets called up and makes the best of "The Show" for himself. That would be cool. (That's my youngest one's glove in this week's picture. She got to sing the anthem at an earlier game.)
Play ball!!
NEW POLLS!!
Three new polls for you this week:
1. Would you rather...
2. Guess Susan's work history
3. Whatcha doin' this summer?
You've got until next Sunday night, so go for it!!
1. Would you rather...
2. Guess Susan's work history
3. Whatcha doin' this summer?
You've got until next Sunday night, so go for it!!
Polling Places
So seems like the ongoing American wars as well as gas and food prices are bugging you the most. I concur, though I have to admit that political rhetoric if right up there for me, too. Maybe the "heated" type of rhetoric isn't exactly the worst of it, though. I think the fact that most politicians are afraid to say anything of substance or take any action of value is likely the biggest obstacle to combatting our problems. We've let "them" get away with saying what they think will appease us--and thus re-elect them--rather than allowing them to tell the truth, if indeed they are in possession of said truth. Yeah, I know, the 24-hour news cycle does have more than a bit part in this production, I just wish we could find our way back onto the true arc of our country's story. Maybe someday.
So I'm gonna go cook up a few new polls for you to ponder this week...Hope you like them!
So I'm gonna go cook up a few new polls for you to ponder this week...Hope you like them!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Phobias by the Dozen
1. Clowns
2. Mimes
3. Carnival People
4. Slingbacks
5. Inflating a tire (I blame Barbara Kingsolver.)
6. Widths
7. Standing on wheeled means of conveyance (other than bicycles)
8. Mice
9. Snakes
10.Raw meat (when it touches anything)
11.Discovering a previously unknown combustable combination of household chemicals
12.Whatever it is behind me when I run faster than usual
2. Mimes
3. Carnival People
4. Slingbacks
5. Inflating a tire (I blame Barbara Kingsolver.)
6. Widths
7. Standing on wheeled means of conveyance (other than bicycles)
8. Mice
9. Snakes
10.Raw meat (when it touches anything)
11.Discovering a previously unknown combustable combination of household chemicals
12.Whatever it is behind me when I run faster than usual
Top Ten Things I Need To Be True
1. Soap is self-cleaning.
2. It really will all come out in the wash.
3. No one saw that.
4. I do just choose not to do all those things, but I could if I wanted to.
5. There is no reincarnation for the truly tired.
6. When the gas light comes on it does mean I have one more gallon of gas in the tank.
7. Thinking burns calories.
8. Passive planning is a viable contribution to any project.
9. My level of procrastination is directly related to my capacity of common sense.
10.If I accomplished everything on my "to do" lists, I would spontaneously combust.
2. It really will all come out in the wash.
3. No one saw that.
4. I do just choose not to do all those things, but I could if I wanted to.
5. There is no reincarnation for the truly tired.
6. When the gas light comes on it does mean I have one more gallon of gas in the tank.
7. Thinking burns calories.
8. Passive planning is a viable contribution to any project.
9. My level of procrastination is directly related to my capacity of common sense.
10.If I accomplished everything on my "to do" lists, I would spontaneously combust.
Stuff I Don't Get
Q. Why does Palin wanna bust in on Rolling Thunder?
A. Has something to do with lipstick on a hog.
Q. Why is okay to call someone a Nazi, but not a slut?
A. Has something to do with a fox and a peacock.
Q. Why did Tiffanys' profit increase by 25%?
A. Has something to do with a newt.
Q. Why did the old lady get pushed off the cliff?
A. Has something to do with fat cats.
Oh animals, you make following the talking points so much more interesting. Bites, doesn't it?
A. Has something to do with lipstick on a hog.
Q. Why is okay to call someone a Nazi, but not a slut?
A. Has something to do with a fox and a peacock.
Q. Why did Tiffanys' profit increase by 25%?
A. Has something to do with a newt.
Q. Why did the old lady get pushed off the cliff?
A. Has something to do with fat cats.
Oh animals, you make following the talking points so much more interesting. Bites, doesn't it?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Graduation Celebrations
Today is really neat. My last kid is leaving elementary school, bound for the middle school with her brother. The thing you need to know (and I hope those of you with younger kids are in the same, happy boat) is that this school is special. I don't think I've ever come across a better atmosphere in any school anywhere, and I've been in a lot of them. The kids are great, the teachers and staff are exceptional, and the parents are really involved. Though we only had one year at this school, it was an eventful one and we will sorely miss it.
This morning my hubby and I attended the final assembly to watch the fifth graders play a recorder concert for us and then sing. Then we said goodbye to a few teachers and staff who are moving on. I did just fine until the parents, teachers, staff, and all the kindergartners-fourth graders turned to face the fifth graders on stage to sing the school song one last time. I'm almost tearing up again. In just a few minutes we are headed back for the fifth graders Final School Walk-Thru, a sweet and no doubt tearful tradition at the school.
My husband and I were talking on the way out of the school earlier about our graduations from high school. His memory was of everyone gathering outside after the ceremony to bid each other goodbye. My high school held its ceremony on the football field, and my memory was of filing into the stadium, each of us with a red carnation in hand to place in the big "80" sign on the stage which consisted of small holes on a white board--signifying our Class Of 1980. These traditions--whether they be for preschool or high school are sacred rites and I hope we all have a special memory of them.
If you would like to share yours here, please do; we will all be the wealthier in spirit for your contribution.
For now, I must head out for the walk-thru. This will be something I know we will always remember and cherish.
And while summer may take us hither and yon, I have a strong feeling that we'll often find ourselves down the road in that playground, hitting the tennis ball or playing on the basketball court. Perhaps practicing our upper body strength on the monkey bars, surely swinging. And we will sit inside the little Clubhouse and read all the sweet sayings about friendship and cooperation. For while we may not have a child in active attendance there, it will always and forever be a part of our community and our family.
This morning my hubby and I attended the final assembly to watch the fifth graders play a recorder concert for us and then sing. Then we said goodbye to a few teachers and staff who are moving on. I did just fine until the parents, teachers, staff, and all the kindergartners-fourth graders turned to face the fifth graders on stage to sing the school song one last time. I'm almost tearing up again. In just a few minutes we are headed back for the fifth graders Final School Walk-Thru, a sweet and no doubt tearful tradition at the school.
My husband and I were talking on the way out of the school earlier about our graduations from high school. His memory was of everyone gathering outside after the ceremony to bid each other goodbye. My high school held its ceremony on the football field, and my memory was of filing into the stadium, each of us with a red carnation in hand to place in the big "80" sign on the stage which consisted of small holes on a white board--signifying our Class Of 1980. These traditions--whether they be for preschool or high school are sacred rites and I hope we all have a special memory of them.
If you would like to share yours here, please do; we will all be the wealthier in spirit for your contribution.
For now, I must head out for the walk-thru. This will be something I know we will always remember and cherish.
And while summer may take us hither and yon, I have a strong feeling that we'll often find ourselves down the road in that playground, hitting the tennis ball or playing on the basketball court. Perhaps practicing our upper body strength on the monkey bars, surely swinging. And we will sit inside the little Clubhouse and read all the sweet sayings about friendship and cooperation. For while we may not have a child in active attendance there, it will always and forever be a part of our community and our family.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Middle America
As someone who has experienced tornadoes, I am amazed and horrified by the devastation in Joplin, MO. It's almost inconceivable--those awful eight minutes, just after the high school graduation ceremonies. And the weather prophets tell us that those poor folks may be in for dangerous storms again today.
If you or yours are in the middle of our country--Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas, specifically--please be safe and prepared today. We will hope the forecasts are wrong, but failing that, that you will all have warning and protection.
I cannot imagine this, but the local photographers, and those from outside news agencies, say that though we have seen unbearable images thus far, they feel unable to truly capture on video or in photographs the magnitude of what occurred. That anyone survived is remarkable, that so many did not in a town of 50,000, heartbreaking.
I lived on the outskirts of a community of 50,000 in California, and cannot begin to fathom losing over 100 people in one event. Everyone almost has to know someone lost.
Let's hope the best for these folks today, and remember that no matter what we believe, how we vote, or where we reside, we are all part of the human family and when someone is lost to us, we should all feel the sorrow.
If you or yours are in the middle of our country--Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas, specifically--please be safe and prepared today. We will hope the forecasts are wrong, but failing that, that you will all have warning and protection.
I cannot imagine this, but the local photographers, and those from outside news agencies, say that though we have seen unbearable images thus far, they feel unable to truly capture on video or in photographs the magnitude of what occurred. That anyone survived is remarkable, that so many did not in a town of 50,000, heartbreaking.
I lived on the outskirts of a community of 50,000 in California, and cannot begin to fathom losing over 100 people in one event. Everyone almost has to know someone lost.
Let's hope the best for these folks today, and remember that no matter what we believe, how we vote, or where we reside, we are all part of the human family and when someone is lost to us, we should all feel the sorrow.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Weekend Revue
So Sunday I had the delightful opportunity to attend a house concert featuring a world-renowned jazz pianist and a local girl who is a phenom on the piano. Our small gathering of folks enjoyed three hours of incredible music in a lovely mountain home. The best part of the afternoon was knowing that we were all there to support the arts in our little town, and to provide scholarship monies for local students with great musical talents and aspirations.
The famous jazz man told us that we were "visionary" and were not just creating community, but enabling "civilization" to occur. He has already promised to come back for our second annual event next year and bring his trio with him.
I take as many inroads as I can find and have time for to help the schools, not just because of cutbacks, and not just for the benefit of my own kids, but because I can and I know that bettering kids' lives and expanding their opportunities is the absolute best use of my time.
So if you have the chance to affect change in your neck of the woods, by all means do so. I can tell you that what you get back is a heck of a lot more than you'll ever give.
The famous jazz man told us that we were "visionary" and were not just creating community, but enabling "civilization" to occur. He has already promised to come back for our second annual event next year and bring his trio with him.
I take as many inroads as I can find and have time for to help the schools, not just because of cutbacks, and not just for the benefit of my own kids, but because I can and I know that bettering kids' lives and expanding their opportunities is the absolute best use of my time.
So if you have the chance to affect change in your neck of the woods, by all means do so. I can tell you that what you get back is a heck of a lot more than you'll ever give.
Poll Call
Well lasts week's polls turned up mixed results. Those of you who voted in the "natural disaster" poll were all wrong! Sadly, I've been IN two tornadoes, but came out (obviously) okay. We had an historic forest fire here a few years back, and in Cali, I experienced a pretty mild earthquake, though I think it was like a 5.4 or something.
And for the individual who took a chance on the "events" poll, well, you were right. You didn't guess the All-Star game because I'm a girl, did you? Of course not. We did host the All-Star game near here last decade, but I was not able to attend. So that means I've been in attendance for a national live radio show (Prairie Home Companion), a visit by the pope (back in the reporter days), and a political convention. But you knew that last one because I blogged about it. If you're interested in the "heroic acts" poll, here's how that shakes down: forded rushing streams--yes, many; tornado rescue--yes, see results of first poll; evacuated people from an explosion--yes, though it was only an exploding car, it was still quite interesting!
I have, however, never had to construct an avalanche fort--thank goodness!
This week I'll put up a TRUE public opinion poll, so have at it and tell me what you think.
And for the individual who took a chance on the "events" poll, well, you were right. You didn't guess the All-Star game because I'm a girl, did you? Of course not. We did host the All-Star game near here last decade, but I was not able to attend. So that means I've been in attendance for a national live radio show (Prairie Home Companion), a visit by the pope (back in the reporter days), and a political convention. But you knew that last one because I blogged about it. If you're interested in the "heroic acts" poll, here's how that shakes down: forded rushing streams--yes, many; tornado rescue--yes, see results of first poll; evacuated people from an explosion--yes, though it was only an exploding car, it was still quite interesting!
I have, however, never had to construct an avalanche fort--thank goodness!
This week I'll put up a TRUE public opinion poll, so have at it and tell me what you think.
Friday, May 20, 2011
My Academy Awards Speech
So just in case this is the last of the last, the end of the end times, (and I hope my friends in the other hemisphere will keep us posted on this) I want to give my Academy Award speech.
As anyone of any fiber and fortitude knows, the Best Original Screenplay Award is the only thing worth winning, that is unless you are the author of a work that you yourself go on to adapt, in which case the adaptation award is acceptable.
(Wild cheering/applause from audience. Inaudible screams from those watching at home.)
"I would like to thank the Academy, and everyone who worked with me to make this moment possible. Most of all I would like to thank all those heartless bullies who tortured me in grade school because after all, without your influence, none of this would ever have been possible. And I want to say to all the writers out there who labor on in anonymity--keep believing in yourself and your talent. An artist's work, when rewarded, takes years to discover. It's your job to make the art, to step out on all that you know to be true about yourself. I've thought about this moment for decades. I've been out there looking in, and if it can come true for me--and you must believe what a long shot that was--then you have nothing to fear. Don't stop, don't think you cannot do it. You're doing it already. If what I'm saying is making you laugh or cry or lose your breath, it's not because I'm saying anything spectacular, it's because you know. This award may go home to live with me, but when I look at it, I will know that you are on your way, that soon I will know you just as you know me right now. Congratulations to not forgetting the dream of who we want to be."
Self-important: yes. Sappy: absolutely. But if any of us ever get the chance to have such an audience, let's not forget what it was like for us to be in that audience. Am I gonna win this award? Most probably not. But I know that letting some kid out there somewhere know that he or she is not alone in what they feel, in what weird-ass thing they do with words, or paint, or anything else--if I can ever do that with something I've birthed and shared with you all, then I will already have "won" what I came here to do.
I'll see you all tomorrow...right?
As anyone of any fiber and fortitude knows, the Best Original Screenplay Award is the only thing worth winning, that is unless you are the author of a work that you yourself go on to adapt, in which case the adaptation award is acceptable.
(Wild cheering/applause from audience. Inaudible screams from those watching at home.)
"I would like to thank the Academy, and everyone who worked with me to make this moment possible. Most of all I would like to thank all those heartless bullies who tortured me in grade school because after all, without your influence, none of this would ever have been possible. And I want to say to all the writers out there who labor on in anonymity--keep believing in yourself and your talent. An artist's work, when rewarded, takes years to discover. It's your job to make the art, to step out on all that you know to be true about yourself. I've thought about this moment for decades. I've been out there looking in, and if it can come true for me--and you must believe what a long shot that was--then you have nothing to fear. Don't stop, don't think you cannot do it. You're doing it already. If what I'm saying is making you laugh or cry or lose your breath, it's not because I'm saying anything spectacular, it's because you know. This award may go home to live with me, but when I look at it, I will know that you are on your way, that soon I will know you just as you know me right now. Congratulations to not forgetting the dream of who we want to be."
Self-important: yes. Sappy: absolutely. But if any of us ever get the chance to have such an audience, let's not forget what it was like for us to be in that audience. Am I gonna win this award? Most probably not. But I know that letting some kid out there somewhere know that he or she is not alone in what they feel, in what weird-ass thing they do with words, or paint, or anything else--if I can ever do that with something I've birthed and shared with you all, then I will already have "won" what I came here to do.
I'll see you all tomorrow...right?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Eight is Enough
Got through eight chapters of rewriting and revising today! Very cool.
I suppose I should try to get through a ton more tomorrow, what with the end of the world on the 21st and all. Though I'm not sure anyone would be able to read it in that event.
All those post-apocalyptic films always freaked me out when I was a kid. I mean geez, it was like even the colors were wiped out. Oh, that reminds me. I did promise you poems some time back, didn't I? Well now's as good a time as any, seeing as I have this simple little one all about color. Here goes:
COLOR (a poem by Susan)
In my revolution, bright red would be
Right beside bright blue--
Brilliant, eye-stabbing colors,
Wet your pants vividness that would make almost everyone
Pick up and move to someplace opposite
Of where they are right now.
Sure, ideas are nice,
But ideas aren't what's kept
All of us from killing ourselves
Over and over again.
We're all still here
For the colors.
The colors really are all
We have--maybe patterns,
But even patterns require
Colors. I have come to
That grey place many times
In my own life.
When the list of
"Things that make me happy"
Began and ended with nothing--
When staying around just to be
Sad or pissed wasn't even an option,
Suddenly, in a flash, I'd remember:
The color of some sign down on the
West side of town and I'd miss it
And I'd have to go see it and, so
Again I didn't die. I think
A lot of people die in hospitals
And not because they were so sick to start with.
Their food is monochromatic, usually beige--
Depression rates are likely higher in the areas where
Winter is just one color,
Sky-to-ground grey.
I suppose even blind people
Imagine in color.
Color feeds our eyes like
Smell feeds the memory.
People who don't bore you, are memorable,
Are called colorful. Language
You long to use in certain situations
Is also colorful.
Rainbows, prisms, crystals, water droplets--
These things hold color by the handful.
Color belies sameness
Making it revolutionary.
And in my revolution,
Color will never run dry.
I suppose I should try to get through a ton more tomorrow, what with the end of the world on the 21st and all. Though I'm not sure anyone would be able to read it in that event.
All those post-apocalyptic films always freaked me out when I was a kid. I mean geez, it was like even the colors were wiped out. Oh, that reminds me. I did promise you poems some time back, didn't I? Well now's as good a time as any, seeing as I have this simple little one all about color. Here goes:
COLOR (a poem by Susan)
In my revolution, bright red would be
Right beside bright blue--
Brilliant, eye-stabbing colors,
Wet your pants vividness that would make almost everyone
Pick up and move to someplace opposite
Of where they are right now.
Sure, ideas are nice,
But ideas aren't what's kept
All of us from killing ourselves
Over and over again.
We're all still here
For the colors.
The colors really are all
We have--maybe patterns,
But even patterns require
Colors. I have come to
That grey place many times
In my own life.
When the list of
"Things that make me happy"
Began and ended with nothing--
When staying around just to be
Sad or pissed wasn't even an option,
Suddenly, in a flash, I'd remember:
The color of some sign down on the
West side of town and I'd miss it
And I'd have to go see it and, so
Again I didn't die. I think
A lot of people die in hospitals
And not because they were so sick to start with.
Their food is monochromatic, usually beige--
Depression rates are likely higher in the areas where
Winter is just one color,
Sky-to-ground grey.
I suppose even blind people
Imagine in color.
Color feeds our eyes like
Smell feeds the memory.
People who don't bore you, are memorable,
Are called colorful. Language
You long to use in certain situations
Is also colorful.
Rainbows, prisms, crystals, water droplets--
These things hold color by the handful.
Color belies sameness
Making it revolutionary.
And in my revolution,
Color will never run dry.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Little Victories
Hey, wrote a new chapter today in the re-write of the first mystery. It was a short chapter, but hey, it was all new material and I'm feeling good about it.
Once the rewrite is complete (in the next week or two), then both mysteries will be ready for proofing then, hopefully in early July, e-publication!! Whoo-hoo!
I'll keep you posted.
Once the rewrite is complete (in the next week or two), then both mysteries will be ready for proofing then, hopefully in early July, e-publication!! Whoo-hoo!
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, May 16, 2011
50th Year Update
If you've been keeping score at home, you know that I have vowed to do a new thing every month until my 50th b'day next March. So far, so good. But that "new thing" I was hoping to accomplish in May is going to have to wait until June...June 1st to be exact, and I'll let you know how it goes.
That means I have 15 days to figure out what my "May Milestone" is going to be. I'm considering the following:
1. indoor extreme bungie
2. open mic night
3. karaoke
4. laser tag
Suggestions, anyone??
That means I have 15 days to figure out what my "May Milestone" is going to be. I'm considering the following:
1. indoor extreme bungie
2. open mic night
3. karaoke
4. laser tag
Suggestions, anyone??
Foggy Bottom
So the fog is actually floating by in waves this morning--you'd think I was still in NorCal. But moist is moist, and as a gardener, I'll take it.
Seems the fog is not limited to my environs as I decided to start the morning by downloading malware onto my computer. Nice. It's gone now--no harm, no foul--but it just makes you question the brilliance of logging on before sunrise. Then again, the sun has yet to rise, visibly. I blame the allergy/sinus meds. But I also thank them, what with the ability to breathe and all.
I swear it looks like car exhaust going by the windows; like I have a roaring fire ablaze. Though this fog is wispy thin, it reminds me of the super thick fog, perhaps the thickest I've even seen, outside Julian, California. I watched it approach, pushed across a field and toward us by the morning sunrise. Really neat effect. And I remember the sweet cherry pipe tobacco smell of the trees in the fog and mist of the Olympic Peninsula. The air seemed to go almost crimson, not from any available light, but from that marvelous smell. It was as pronounced and all-encompassing as the first whiff of salt-sea air near the shore--an iconic scent if ever there was one.
Then there was the unfortunate movie, "The Fog". Almost ruins you for lighthouses.
I'll just think about "Haven", which is due to return to us in July. I just love the atmosphere they manage to create on that show. How often do you want to visit a damned place with dangerous characters lurking about? Somehow they make that seem a reasonable course of action. It's almost like there's a quiet reading of Poe going on beneath the surface, a slow-moving and somber strain of Chopin calling you onto the rocks. There's something new yet familiar, not so much a mystery to solve as a nightmare to see through to its end. Something you feel you know, or want to know. A permeating, churning, veil of a thing just outside your awareness.
Like a fog.
Seems the fog is not limited to my environs as I decided to start the morning by downloading malware onto my computer. Nice. It's gone now--no harm, no foul--but it just makes you question the brilliance of logging on before sunrise. Then again, the sun has yet to rise, visibly. I blame the allergy/sinus meds. But I also thank them, what with the ability to breathe and all.
I swear it looks like car exhaust going by the windows; like I have a roaring fire ablaze. Though this fog is wispy thin, it reminds me of the super thick fog, perhaps the thickest I've even seen, outside Julian, California. I watched it approach, pushed across a field and toward us by the morning sunrise. Really neat effect. And I remember the sweet cherry pipe tobacco smell of the trees in the fog and mist of the Olympic Peninsula. The air seemed to go almost crimson, not from any available light, but from that marvelous smell. It was as pronounced and all-encompassing as the first whiff of salt-sea air near the shore--an iconic scent if ever there was one.
Then there was the unfortunate movie, "The Fog". Almost ruins you for lighthouses.
I'll just think about "Haven", which is due to return to us in July. I just love the atmosphere they manage to create on that show. How often do you want to visit a damned place with dangerous characters lurking about? Somehow they make that seem a reasonable course of action. It's almost like there's a quiet reading of Poe going on beneath the surface, a slow-moving and somber strain of Chopin calling you onto the rocks. There's something new yet familiar, not so much a mystery to solve as a nightmare to see through to its end. Something you feel you know, or want to know. A permeating, churning, veil of a thing just outside your awareness.
Like a fog.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Three's a Crowd Pleaser
So this week I'm giving you three--count 'em--three polls, all about disaster and adventure. Take a guess as to the meddle of which I'm made...or the foolishness of my nature.
Hey, I could talk about myself forever, but what about you?? Is there a poll you'd like to see here? If so, let me know with a comment on any of this week's posts. Best idea wins publication on this blog.
Hey, I could talk about myself forever, but what about you?? Is there a poll you'd like to see here? If so, let me know with a comment on any of this week's posts. Best idea wins publication on this blog.
Poll Positions
So we have a fifty-fifty fifty, if that makes any sense. Half of you got half of the questions answered correctly. So what were those answers? Well, if you guessed that I have never been directly threatened by a stingray--baank--you're wrong. I've been threatened by them on several occasions. The coyote put me through a half-hour long dash through the woods, and as for the ostrich in Watsonville: you KNOW what you did! The answer was porcupine, for while porcupines have been in my yard, they have never posed a threat to me.
Moving on to the next question. If you answered pony--nah, we all did the round-about at the fair or in the grocery store parking lot when we were kids, right? Camel and I had a nice ride and I used to ride horses off and on (literally), but I have yet to ride an elephant. I've been close, but haven't had the chance. I will rectify that very soon.
Thanks to everyone for playing, and congrats to the half of you who got the first one right and the half of you who got the second one right. (They weren't the same people, which is interesting in itself.)
Moving on to the next question. If you answered pony--nah, we all did the round-about at the fair or in the grocery store parking lot when we were kids, right? Camel and I had a nice ride and I used to ride horses off and on (literally), but I have yet to ride an elephant. I've been close, but haven't had the chance. I will rectify that very soon.
Thanks to everyone for playing, and congrats to the half of you who got the first one right and the half of you who got the second one right. (They weren't the same people, which is interesting in itself.)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Cockeyed Gazette: The Wedding Edition
Since it's nearly wedding season, let's honor the betrothed amongst us with a theme for this week's news!
something old...
Wasilly Sarah wants everyone to know that though it may be Common, she isn't anti-rap. She's so proud she knows the words to "Rapper's Delight, Pt. 2" and so are we. Why not let her throw down at your reception? She'll even bring along the bead curtains and a fondue pot!
something new...
Need the perfect wedding gift? This one's so new that almost no one's heard of it! We had to scour the online comments of another local rag to discover that some folks are carrying around "self-phones". How exciting! Make sure to include a photo of the happy couple and a DNA sample with your order.
something borrowed...
Looking for that special honeymoon spot? A certain ex-Sinnertor has a "house in the Hamptons" that comes complete with your own private concert featuring "Bruce Almighty and the C Street Band"! What a values-based opportunity at only $96,000 for the weak.
something blue...
Well it's black actually, but it makes us blue. It's hard times out there for everyone, even Unabombers, and old Ted's evil wares are up for auction. If you want the Corona used by the man himself to crank out a truly unique batch of invitations, then go ahead, but use it at your own risk. Frankly, we'd flip open the Farnsworth and get Artie right over with the purple goo. Sounds like a deplorable artifact to us! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Well, that's all the news that (gives us) fits. Until next time...see you in the funny papers.
something old...
Wasilly Sarah wants everyone to know that though it may be Common, she isn't anti-rap. She's so proud she knows the words to "Rapper's Delight, Pt. 2" and so are we. Why not let her throw down at your reception? She'll even bring along the bead curtains and a fondue pot!
something new...
Need the perfect wedding gift? This one's so new that almost no one's heard of it! We had to scour the online comments of another local rag to discover that some folks are carrying around "self-phones". How exciting! Make sure to include a photo of the happy couple and a DNA sample with your order.
something borrowed...
Looking for that special honeymoon spot? A certain ex-Sinnertor has a "house in the Hamptons" that comes complete with your own private concert featuring "Bruce Almighty and the C Street Band"! What a values-based opportunity at only $96,000 for the weak.
something blue...
Well it's black actually, but it makes us blue. It's hard times out there for everyone, even Unabombers, and old Ted's evil wares are up for auction. If you want the Corona used by the man himself to crank out a truly unique batch of invitations, then go ahead, but use it at your own risk. Frankly, we'd flip open the Farnsworth and get Artie right over with the purple goo. Sounds like a deplorable artifact to us! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Well, that's all the news that (gives us) fits. Until next time...see you in the funny papers.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Taking Polls and Stock
So whoever voted for Truman Capote is correct! Sadly, I never got to meet the man, but his writing does speak to me all on its own. I've had the pleasure of meeting Natalie Goldberg twice, and attended a really nice reading with John Updike. As for the late James Dickey, I was lucky enough to score a nearly week-long interview with him at his house in South Carolina. Pretty sweet.
This week let's drop the contest part (as that kind of interaction doesn't seem to be resonating with any of you yet--no problem!--and keep the poll around for sh*ts and grins.) Heck, let's do a couple of polls just to keep you interested.
Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. We have the toughest and BEST job in the whole world! As the saying goes, every mom is a working woman. That's true, but I think the assets I'm most proud of in this part of my world are multitasking, resourcefulness, and patience. I'll never forget the time my tiny first born had to be changed and the only option was a very dingy, small public restroom in an ancient cafe. So how did I manage? I took off a shawl I was wearing, put it on the floor, and talked him through how silly we must look if anyone could see us. He came out of that bathroom clean and I came out beaming. I told my husband, now I KNOW that I'm a mom!
This week let's drop the contest part (as that kind of interaction doesn't seem to be resonating with any of you yet--no problem!--and keep the poll around for sh*ts and grins.) Heck, let's do a couple of polls just to keep you interested.
Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. We have the toughest and BEST job in the whole world! As the saying goes, every mom is a working woman. That's true, but I think the assets I'm most proud of in this part of my world are multitasking, resourcefulness, and patience. I'll never forget the time my tiny first born had to be changed and the only option was a very dingy, small public restroom in an ancient cafe. So how did I manage? I took off a shawl I was wearing, put it on the floor, and talked him through how silly we must look if anyone could see us. He came out of that bathroom clean and I came out beaming. I told my husband, now I KNOW that I'm a mom!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Lost (on some) Art
I'm feeling good about myself. No, really. Somehow I find that I possess this weird little skill set that, up until now, has endeared me to many but garnered me nothing in the way of "scratch".
I can communicate with words in a clear and concise fashion. And, like the cave painters of old, I fear the art of communication will soon be something of a novelty, something we excavate to explore. It seems so many among us just never embraced what I think is a natural ability that any could finesse to their needs.
I see it in school kids who have this block about writing. I see it in the absurdity that passes for grammar on the crawls at the bottom of the TV screen. And I find it in electronic messages, where nuance is left to the mood of the receiver.
I do not possess some bizarre ability that is beyond comprehension, I'm just a decently good writer. I can do things with words, but so can we all. My concern is that we do not value communication in education nor in the workplace as we should. This is a basic necessity and we should view it as such. I don't like that many schools have abandoned cursive writing instruction, seeing it as archaic and quaint. Cursive writing is expression, and it allows the physical to mesh with the mental in order to form one's feelings and thoughts into a piece of visual art. Let's not lose that. Sure, I'm blogging this to you, but I still write letters and I always will.
So I pulled out my gift this morning and gave it to a volunteer organization that really needed it and for that I feel good. I have something to offer and it was of great value to a lot of people today. My wish is that we would all, no matter our education or preconceived ideas, put this varying ability on display more often.
When I was a kid, I thought writers were "those people" and not me. I don't think I entirely demystified writing for myself until Keri and I talked it through decades later. I'd like to see that hole covered up so that it won't swallow more dreamers. We need all of those we can get.
I can communicate with words in a clear and concise fashion. And, like the cave painters of old, I fear the art of communication will soon be something of a novelty, something we excavate to explore. It seems so many among us just never embraced what I think is a natural ability that any could finesse to their needs.
I see it in school kids who have this block about writing. I see it in the absurdity that passes for grammar on the crawls at the bottom of the TV screen. And I find it in electronic messages, where nuance is left to the mood of the receiver.
I do not possess some bizarre ability that is beyond comprehension, I'm just a decently good writer. I can do things with words, but so can we all. My concern is that we do not value communication in education nor in the workplace as we should. This is a basic necessity and we should view it as such. I don't like that many schools have abandoned cursive writing instruction, seeing it as archaic and quaint. Cursive writing is expression, and it allows the physical to mesh with the mental in order to form one's feelings and thoughts into a piece of visual art. Let's not lose that. Sure, I'm blogging this to you, but I still write letters and I always will.
So I pulled out my gift this morning and gave it to a volunteer organization that really needed it and for that I feel good. I have something to offer and it was of great value to a lot of people today. My wish is that we would all, no matter our education or preconceived ideas, put this varying ability on display more often.
When I was a kid, I thought writers were "those people" and not me. I don't think I entirely demystified writing for myself until Keri and I talked it through decades later. I'd like to see that hole covered up so that it won't swallow more dreamers. We need all of those we can get.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
My Fiftieth Year
So since I'm turning 50 in March of 2012, that means I am now into my fiftieth year on earth. I am marking the passing of these twelve months by doing twelve new and exciting things, one each month, between now and then.
Here's what I've accomplished so far:
March 2011--Began blogging to all of you
April 2011--Gave a speech to a large outdoor crowd in my hometown
May 2011--(This one depends on the weather and a branch of my state's government, so I'll let you know.)
I have a few more loosely contemplated ideas for the other months, but for now I will try not to over-think it, rather let the ideas come as they choose.
And if you have any suggestions, let me know. Be creative!
Here's what I've accomplished so far:
March 2011--Began blogging to all of you
April 2011--Gave a speech to a large outdoor crowd in my hometown
May 2011--(This one depends on the weather and a branch of my state's government, so I'll let you know.)
I have a few more loosely contemplated ideas for the other months, but for now I will try not to over-think it, rather let the ideas come as they choose.
And if you have any suggestions, let me know. Be creative!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Check out Keri's Stories
Keri has some wonderful short stories up for purchase on Smashwords. Please check them out under Keri Knutson, where you can also enjoy a free read that she's offering. Thanks!
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