TWEET: THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Tweet the night before Christmas, no hands on the mouse
Not a creepster was blurbing, not even a grouse,
All the shocking was done by the brave and the fair
In hopes 140 characters would lay their souls bare.

The pundits were nestled all smug in their heads,
While visions of "should-have-dones" lapsed into dreads,
But President Obama, with his Chief of Staff
Had exhausted all pains for a payroll stop-gap.

When out of his phone there arose such a chatter,
Prez had to awake to see what he could gather,
He reached for his iPhone which awoke with a flash
Depressed the "send" button and lit up an ash.

The luminousness of the cellular's glow
Gave off the specter of a kabuki show,
When what to his marveling ears did he hear
But one Speaker Boehner with 8 Tea Party peers.

With the crabby old Speaker so angry and slick
Prez knew in that moment a deal he could stick,
More vapid than pollsters his caucus, John claimed
Had whistled and shouted and called him by name.

"Now, Boehner" said Ellmers and Upton and Cantor
"McConnell has fallen for Pelosi-Reid banter!"
"Time to put down the torch, we've been getting the calls"
"Our constituents say we should dash away all!"

As dry heaves that before the great viral flu toss
When they meet with the dyspeptic, sour their loss,
So up to the House all the cursers they'd pass
A "yea" vote on the 2-month extension at last.

And then with a twinkling felt by the group
The president chortled and gave them a whoop,
He drew on a notepad that they couldn't see
"That's zero for you guys and one for the 'WE'."

He put on his suit clothes, in no time was dressed
To announce the great news to all of the press,
A bundle of joy with a weight off his back
He took up his gum and threw down that pack.

His aides how they twinkled, his people so cheery
His chiefs were like kids and the VP was teary,
His sweet little family, their doggie named "Bo"
All stood at his side to deliver the blow.

The brunt of his speech he held tight like a prayer
But the words they came out before all who were there,
He had a tired face but a smile so endearing
He beamed with the news that the crisis was clearing.

He was courteous and kind, very business-like he
But I laughed when I thought of that sad GOP,
A few words from the podium, he turned and stepped out
Leaving everyone clear on just who'd had the clout.

Then from speaking himself Boehner did not shirk
He stood glaring at cameras the smug orange jerk,
And laying the blame on the President's woes
He applauded himself for assuaging the foes.

He spun for the crowd 'til his team a look shot
And they walked away unaware that the mic was still hot,
So we heard them exclaim as away they did squirm
"That jackass old Dem has just won his next term!"

AND THAT IS MY CHRISTMAS WISH FOR WHATSINGTON, D.C.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!