Change of Clothes

Later today I have to take the boy child out for dress clothes, which should be a hoot as well as a holler seeing as such articles are kryptonite to teenagers. But slay that dragon one button at a time we must; his band grade depends upon it. (They do call it trying on clothes for a reason.)

I don't blame the kid for growing, I'm told that's fairly common, especially if you water them regularly. The parade of changing sizes, while challenging, does not get me down. Quickly evolving likes and dislikes however drives me batty.

"You know I hate turkey," a child utters, casually. Since when?
"I'm allergic to bananas!" No one is allergic to bananas.
"I'll drink it but I don't like the raspberry flavor." I swore you asked for it specifically.


That was yesterday...or an hour ago. As quickly as the hormone fairy brings hair and attitude, the snark fairy gifts us with wondering who the hell these people are. Meanwhile, of course, they continue to develop a list of Things They Must Have Or They Will Die, which conveniently all come in one size: low quality and high price tag. The parent of such people is left wondering which ransom to pay in order to keep the peace.

Then, like the little mirror-hoisting Buddhas that they are, they made me realize that I too was guilty of the crime of changing my mind. I had become a shape-shifter, and a hypocritical one at that. In the words of the prophets Air Supply, "I'm all out of love" for MSNBC. No, really, it's not you, it's me. I promised something I couldn't give and then this shiny new thing came along and...

I blame Stephanie Miller...and Chris Lavoie...and Jim Ward (who for some reason I often refer to as "Don"). I blame their little radio-gone-TV show on Current. You can take credit for this one, Al: I'm hooked. "Morning Joe" has lost it's luster after coming in as the reigning champ in my daily political life for nearly four years now. I should've known our relationship was on the ropes when I deleted the DVR timer weeks ago...four weeks ago to be exact, which is when CurrentTV began airing "The Stephanie Miller Show". Coincidence? Hardly.

And now, when it's too late to do anything about it, I've come to the realization that Ms. Miller's enterprise is a gateway drug: I'm tuning in to Free Speech TV (locally grown), Link TV, and expose-style documentaries more often than ever and not by accident. Maybe it's my old Air America clothes coming out of the back of my psychic closet to be worn with pride during an election cycle. (Lots of "spin" and "drip-dry" in that cycle.)

Whatever the motivation, I have jilted one and run away with another. I should wear sack cloth and ashes for my betrayal, but somehow I keep pulling on bright colors. It's Springtime in my soul.

So no matter what the gods of teenaged angst throw at me this afternoon, I can smile on the inside at least knowing that styles change and one size doesn't fit all...forever.

I just hope no one's suddenly grown allergic to rayon.