They Don't Make Elephants Like Eisenhower Anymore

I've been gone for a while, off slaying various dragons--ending the school year, attempting to best an upper respiratory infection and the accompanying fever, and errant gardening here and there--and though I've battled with this particular serpent in past posts, I believe he still lies coiled and strong, waiting to reign over us with fire and, dare I say it, ennui.

And while he has committed many crimes against us, the first with which I'd like to dispatch is the sin of thievery as he has stolen four of the kingdom's sacred symbols: The American Flag, plus signs, tea, and the letter W. I'd like these to be wrested from their foul perches in your lair, oh evil one, and returned to the union of people post-haste. (And those of us who were great fans of "Northern Exposure" would like Janine Turner back, as well.)

And then there's the lying. But here we run smack into a thicket of burning Bushes because it seems that while it is A-OK to lie about WMD to "create jobs" and put Halliburton to work building things, it is foolish, naive, and downright unAmerican to suggest that we ask scientists to declare an imminent alien invasion so we could build high-speed rail and other necessities of infrastructure in order to put people back to work. (Paul Krugman doesn't even kill anyone with his little subterfuge.)

Cheating? Well now we've really gotten into the weeds. You see cheating doesn't seem to have a meaning anymore, or at least not one definition which applies to everyone. For example, let's say you're an immigrant kid who came to this country by whatever means and for whatever reasons, got an education or served in the military, and now you just want to be a citizen. (Sounds like you've already been one.) You sir or ma'am are a cheater! You just want to leech off of our "free economy"--that's the new, nicer name for the "free market" in case you haven't noticed--so you can have your little "Dream Act". You should look to our giants of industry like Eduardo Saverin, one of Facebook's co-founders, who came to this country for his safety and left for his money's safety. (Fifteen percent of a fortune is still a fortune after all.)

Of course the worst kind of cheating is when you cheat by lying AND stealing which I believe is also called the "free economy", that is if the labor is free and the economy is held by only those who know what to do with what we earned. We are, after all, paying THEM all our monies to tell us how to live: Here's my pension, my monthly budget, my contraceptive plan, now judge me please. It's a modern-day "company store" where the migrant immigrants are trapped in slavery, indentured servitude at best. And you don't have to change a lot of letters to go from Confederate to Corporate. The Man who wants to be in the Big House puts it this way:

*Cliques are cool but unions are bad
*It's only worth what someone will give you for it
*Do as much as you can with as little as possible, then splurge with the profits
*The winners are mine, the losers are yours
*Investment is a wonderful thing unless the government's doing it

In short, they just don't make elephants like Eisenhower anymore. Remember that old interstate highway system scheme? How'd that work out for us? Then there was that radical socialist Lincoln with his transcontinental railroad. What a tool! Today's Republicans won't fall for those follies, no, they will give us our "trans" right where we need it. In our hoo-hoos! Transvaginal probes for the lot of you!

And the rabble did rouse. Why? They figured something out: We don't need THEM, they need US. They cannot run their factories without us. They cannot get to work on time without us. They cannot clothe their bodies without us. They cannot take a poo without the toilets we made and the water mains we built and the sewage treatment plants we installed. Without the 99%, the 1% would not only be full of it, they'd be covered in it. And we need to remember to remind them of that. (They do need a lot of reminding of course, poor things think 60 is a simple majority.)

So don't let the Greedy Dragon get you down. No matter who or where you are, you can do something to make a difference. You can talk to your neighbors, you can talk to the school board, and if you're like me, you can talk to the cans in the grocery store aisle. (You can do it with the cell phone to your head if you're insanity-shy.) You can go to meetings and gatherings of like-minded or not like-minded people. You can sign online petitions. You can email your representatives at all levels. You can act up or act out or act sweet--just act.

I wonder what Maggie O'Connell would've done had her hostess not been taken over by the dark side? Here she was, a strong single gal in a backwater Alaska town founded by two lesbians and full of free-spirited people. I know what she would've done back in the day, but now that she's gone all right-wing and Fox-y--I suppose she'd just pull a K Street "The Family"-style apology by whipping out the old Jesus Etch-a-Sketch: "Oops"--as Ricky P said--that never happened, I'm forgiven, look there's Elvis! And like that, it's gone.

Poor Maggie, I guess she's trying to fit into the current craze and be relevant again. Heck, Sugar, you didn't need to go on the TV or put out your Jesus Yoga video, you were needed already what with all that transvaginal probing to be done. She was a bush pilot, you know.