A mormon, a movie star, and an American Idol walk into the RNC--
The punchline? The mormon comes out on top.
I didn't actually watch much of the RNC--I tried--but I did enjoy the MST3K send-up of the event, courtesy of Current TV. Without them, and a few shining moments from the pundits at MSNBC, I couldn't have watched at all.
Nikki Haley was nauseating, Ann Romney was just plain weird, and Paul Ryan dealt only in lies. I have a zero-tolerance policy toward bullies, so I didn't tune in for what I'm told was a very nasty address by Chris Christie. (That from the Big Guy with "Christ" in his name, nearly twice!) I ignored the "prophets and the profiteers" (the bishops and Bain), but I did live to see another Bush brother bash education: this time by comparing it to milk.
After nearly a week of the obligatory walk-outs, act-ups, and media bashing--literally, and with peanuts--Romney took to the stage. His speech wasn't awful therefore it was pretty good. He even made nice for the better part of it, until he didn't. Until he mocked the rise of sea levels when just a couple of states over folks were dealing with flooded streets and homes. Until he lied about taxes and healthcare. Until he laid out his five-point "plan" to include: raping the Earth for oil and coal, eviscerating the public school system, taking away that healthcare, cutting those onerous taxes (and regulations) on the wealthy, and "revising" (even more outsourcing?)--the mind boggles--our trade policies with other nations. Oh, and speaking of...can we have some new wars, please?
People may remember his speech for awhile, but not as long as they'll recall an 82-year-old man talking smack to a chair. The visuals that went along with that--well, if you didn't see it, I don't want to burden you. Suffice to say there was about as much respect shown for the invisible occupant of that chair--we refer to him as Mr. President--as there was for the Hurricane Isaac victims. But I quibble.
Current TV's coverage was by far the best thing to come out of the elephants' truncated week, and I look forward to joining my pretend television friends again next week for the donkeys' kick of it. Current has become my respite, my Air America circa 2004, though this time the outcome must be different. I can now imagine Clint communing with furniture, but what I cannot fathom is Mitt Romney sitting in the Commander-in-Chief's seat. I've seen what happens when boys with Daddy issues play war and it ain't pretty.
So can we please not rearrange the furniture just yet. From where I'm sitting, it looks much better on the Left.
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And in a related story: the top three movies in the running for some fake award ceremony obviously taking place somewhere in the bad alley of some offbeat furniture warehouse:
1. Chair Riots of Ire
2. 84 Chair I'm Cross Road
3. Up in the Chair (eh, Clooney's on the O-Team)
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