The easter curse

So, it's been awhile. I could talk about all the...but on this special day, this is the story I'd rather tell.
I do not like easter nor mother's day. See how I "showed them" by not affording them capitals--HA, I win!!!!

I have had a fear of easter since childhood when, year after year, I got dressed up in a frilly little, pastel-colored dress, washed my hands and face, and went to church early so the preacher man could remind me again that I killed Jesus. I remember looking out the stained glass windows of our southern Southern Baptist church and seeing the rising sun streaming through in all the colors of easter happiness: Violent Violet, Orange Youashamedofyourself, Golden Rule Gold, and Crimson...you know who. It absolutely terrified me that no matter if the previous day had been dark, cloudy, and raining, with thunder, lightning, and tornadoes, that day, that Sunday, it was always sunny. To me, that was a stark reminder that IT could get you any time, in any way of ITS choosing.

Now I could relate to you some of the things that have happened to me on easters since, but first off, you'd never believe half of it, and second off, it's too wretched to bring to mind. So I will let you know how the old curse manifested itself today. First, I forgot that the email account I have attached to this blog and to my self-publishing blog with Keri,  http://publishingyourself.blogspot.com/ , are not the same email address. Then, in my easter-inspired brilliance, I managed to change all my passwords in an attempt to rectify the situation. (Rectum-fy, more like it.) Then, I looked out in the driveway and noticed that one of my lovely children had left both my car's passenger-side doors open all night long. (I really hope nothing made a home in there only to resurrect itself when I am gliding effortlessly along at, say, sixty miles-an-hour.) Given my history with the curse, this is really "Good News".

So what is my explanation of all my good fortune today? Well, this year easter is so late in the month of April. I do not understand the movability of this particular feast--I probably did at some time, and now I do not care--but whenever it is at the end of March or beginning of April, my troubles seem to last until mother's day. I just always figured that "our hero" pushed the rock away from the cave, came out, either saw or didn't see--never can keep that one straight, either--his shadow, dooming me to six more weeks of bad luck. Do the math, it fits.

Maybe I will escape the "mother's day mysteries" also. I hope so. For bad or even worse things have happened to me then. We really used to take short vacations that weekend in a lame and useless effort to escape them, but in the words of Phish: "...I moved just where they'd hoped I'd be."  'Nuf said.

So here's my contribution in the spirit of renewal: I will not go a month without blogging. No excuses. And if my true story here offends in any way, that's not my intention, I'm just telling my truths. I get mine and you get yours. Go tell yours, please. We could all use a little dialogue back and forth, a little spar and parry with words. Teddy Roosevelt had a favorite word--challenge. I used to take that word in its negative connotation, but now I see it as an empowering reminder to do what we came here to do. If my job is to use words to heal myself--and along the way you feel other things--then maybe that will set into motion your job, and vice-versa. The buddhists say you should bow down and thank your "enemy" for being your great teacher. The self-help gurus say those with whom we are most uncomfortable are simply holding up a mirror to teach us our own flaws. Certain aspects of my past have already charted a part of my course, but I'd like to think that, like any good character with tons of flaws and areas for growth, I try to remain consistent in my outlook while keeping a somewhat open mind. I have my presets--and some grew out of those years of pain--but I am always looking to explore them in the light of day with rewrites and constant revision.

So however you hold this or any other holiday--in your head, your heart, or in distain--enjoy your day and all your days in the way you see fit. I will let you know--REALLY I WILL--how my days are going as I try to get my writing projects completed, my volunteer obligations met, and my actual life attended to with grace.

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the weather...it's partly cloudy here and last night it snowed in my car.