(From the wired reports:) NASSA, the National Aireheads and Spaced Sciences Assininetion, has discovered politics on other planets! Seems conditions are right just about everywhere above and below for this special type of activity.
For example, on the planet CREEP they seem to get the upper hand on their foes by poking fun at their competitor's fashion sense. (Imagine such foolishness ever working on Earth!) On the planet BACHMANN campaign staffers complain whenever their candidate is pictured on the cover of a magazine looking excited. They say "excited" is crazy. (This theory we might be able to agree on.) And on the planet BAUCUS they award selling out and failing with bigger and better appointments. (No way Earthlings would ever contemplate that one!)
Luckily these planets are light-years behind and away from the majority of those of us on Earth who expect our politicians to aim higher. Political attacks based on skinny jeans? While the point is debated on CREEP and roundly denied, as observers we can only hope this to be a false report. And calling into question the tactics of a BACHMANN magazine photographer saying he made the person who said all pols should be investigated to determine whether or not they were loyal to their planet/country seem crazy by showing her eyes? Her staff should complain that the photo included her mouth. And compromise is good and necessary on BAUCUS, but it helps to have two sides to begin with.
So keep your eyes on the skies this August--that's when the political planets experience solar-type flare-ups; they call them town halls. And they can get pretty testy, I'm told. If you experience a glitch in your satellite communications activities this month, now you'll know why: They're mandating, consternating, and capitulating again.
Don't you wish NASSA would find intelligent political life? Shame others aren't as advanced as we are.
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