Oh, Mitt Romney! You always have so much to tell us. So much, in fact, that I must recite your verbal missives in shorthand. Like the short hand of the market on the gears of the machines in "Metropolis". But I digress...
Here we go, stream-of-consciouness style: "In Massachusetts, I was always in an away game (where the) C.A.F.E. standards (are bad for U.S. auto manufacturers) and where all bailouts should be privatized because the Democrats think that corporate profits are bad--President Obama wants jobs and not business--and the President has failed the Middle Class; (after all) markets work and the Federal government caused the housing problem by pushing people into houses they couldn't afford (and isn't it) terrible that the President is only concerned about his re-election (while I'm concerned with) cutting the Federal workforce by 10% (and also) public servants shouldn't make more money than the people they serve and you can trust me because I've been married to the same wife for 42 years, gone to the same church all my life, and worked at the same job for 25 years." WHEW. So tell me how you really feel, MittRo!
Then, when it seemed as if he was poised to win the debate--and in a surprise move--Romney DISQUALIFIED himself from the race. "I've been in business all my life, 25 years." Uh-oh. Dude, you're only 25? The Constitution (cue Ron Paul) says you gotta be 35 to be President. (Buzzer goes off.) And you're outta here!
The crowd cheers momentarily then casts a collective jaundiced eye over the remaining seven contenders. Oh crap. They forgot to plan an exit strategy. Silly Republicans. Now what?
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